


Impersonal

by abberantcastle



Category: LOONA (Korea Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, F/F, but it's worth it i promise, damn idk how to tag this, does this count as best friends to lovers, it has a little bit of plot, oh yes this is yeorry, yeojin hates yerim
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-07-04
Updated: 2020-08-14
Packaged: 2021-03-05 02:34:12
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 23,515
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25076944
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/abberantcastle/pseuds/abberantcastle
Summary: Yerim watches the girl look up and glare at her, staring up at her with such a scrutinizing gaze. Yerim feels the hair on her skin stand up.“Your smile looks painfully fake.”orYerim looks and feels like the perfect person to everyone around her. Yeojin just thinks she's fake.And Yerim's determined to change that
Relationships: Choi Yerim | Choerry/Im Yeojin
Comments: 15
Kudos: 136





	1. Fake

**Author's Note:**

> I have no idea if this is gonna be long or not. Have a little self-indulgent yeorry that I wrote on a whim at 5:30am.  
> Enjoy reading this messy series i think

Yerim leads a life that she’d like to believe feels like a broken record.

If she were to describe it properly, her life feels like playing a song you once loved on your worn out mp3 player, and then repeating it until you get tired of it. And when you finally decide to stop listening to it, the damn mp3 player breaks down and you’re stuck listening to that same song until you get a new mp3 player.

Not that she could afford to buy a new one. Not that she’d even  _ want  _ a new one.

Yerim grew accustomed to listening to the same song that plays through her head, as if she didn’t have a choice. As if changing the song would change her.

“Yerim!” A husky voice calls out. Yerim turns her head to find one of her classmates running up towards her. She gave him a bright smile in return, waving just as enthusiastically as he was.

And so she wears a mask.

“Hi! What’s up?” She asks with a small smile on her face, and the boy flashes her a dashing grin. He pauses in front of her, slightly out of breath. His hair was tousled from the way he sprinted towards Yerim.

“Thanks for listening to my rants yesterday, I feel better now.” His voice was considerably soft. “I didn’t know talking about it to someone would make things easier somehow.” And then he chuckles adorably and awkwardly, but Yerim feels indifferent.

“That’s good to hear. You can always come to me whenever you need help, okay?” Yerim pats him on the shoulder. He only nods.

“Thanks Yerim.” He pauses, and Yerim knows what’s coming next. “Actually, I wanted to tell you something…”

“Hm?” Yerim waits as patiently as she could, even though her mind is screaming and yelling at the boy in front of her to hurry up.

“I like you.”

Yerim only blinks. “Okay.” Yerim raises an eyebrow, quite carefully, and she waits for him to elaborate. But he doesn’t. Instead, he gives her a small bow and he turns around.

The moment he ran off, Yerim’s cheeks relaxed from the tight expression she plastered on her face.

“Yerim, how are you?” A girl taps on her shoulder, and Yerim jolts a bit. The said girl starts to walk beside her. “You didn’t reply to my messages last night, are you okay?”

“Oh no,” Yerim fumbles around to find her phone in her pocket. She opened it to find multiple unread messages from unfamiliar people. “I’m sorry, it must have been lost--”

“That’s a lot,” the girl’s eyes widens when she glimpses towards Yerim’s phone. “People text you often?”

“Y-Yeah…” Yerim gave her a shaky smile. “Sometimes I have a hard time replying because of it… But I do! Just a bit later than I’m supposed to.”

“Oh, I get it. Will you attend the meeting later? You’re the rep for 12th grade, right?”

“Yeah, what room will it be in?” Yerim asks as she tightens her grip on her school bag’s strap.

“It’s the usual. I’ll see you there, Yerim?”

“Yeah, see you there.”

An exhale escapes her lips once she sees the girl leave.

_ Please, no one else approach me, please, please, please. _ She chants it through her head, trying to manifest it.  _ I do not have enough time and energy to deal with this right now. _

Thankfully, it worked out for her. She made it through the entire day without a lot of people approaching her and talking to her. It was as if they sensed that she wasn’t in the best mood.

Right after the meeting ends, she walks out of the school quickly. She needed to get home soon. Scratch that, she wanted to get home soon.

_ Home. _ Yerim thinks to herself.  _ Can it be called home when there’s no one there? Or is it just a place I go back to? _ But she shakes these thoughts away from her head. She sighs.

“Hey,” A voice called out to Yerim. She looked down to find a smaller girl looking up at her with a curious gaze. She was barely even near her house and yet someone was already talking to her. Technically, she was just a few minutes away from her school’s gates.

The smaller girl had her arms behind her back, and her eyes seemed to pierce Yerim’s confused ones. She wore the same uniform as Yerim, and yet Yerim doesn’t think she’s seen this girl before.  _ Maybe a lower year? _

But looking at the said girl doesn’t really answer the question in her head, and even if she was in the lower year, Yerim wasn’t sure if this girl had a proper reason to talk to an upperclassman like her.

Yerim gives the smaller girl a rehearsed and tight-lipped smile. A  _ painfully _ rehearsed one. The smaller girl squints her eyes at Yerim, and Yerim only flinches ever so slightly.

“Hi!” She greets enthusiastically as she watches the smaller girl take a small step back to look at her in wonder. The way she was gazing up at Yerim seemed like she was looking at a particularly weird portrait in a deserted art museum.

“Do I... know you?” Yerim’s voice comes out smaller and more nervous than she’d like, and she internally winces.

“Do you ever get tired of smiling?” The smaller girl asks bluntly. Her head tilts to the side as she genuinely awaits Yerim’s answer. Her eyes seemed devoid of emotion, and it takes Yerim longer to analyze what the other girl was thinking.

The two girls fall silent. The world seems to stop at a standstill once Yerim hears the words echo repeatedly in her head. “I’m sorry, I don’t follow…?”

_ Who does she think she is _ , Yerim starts talking to herself in her head,  _ who’s giving her the rights to walk up and talk to strangers this way? _

Yerim doesn’t know why she got defensive in her head, but she does. She tries hard to make sure her smile does not falter. What’s the point of trying hard to close her walls if she were to falter now?

“It’s just that I see you every day, you know, greeting people with smiles and talking to everyone like the popular girl you are.” The smaller girl’s words were filled with distaste as she walked forward slowly. 

She continues her little train of thought, and Yerim is left with no choice but to follow her. They  _ were  _ walking the same direction home.  _ What a weird coincidence. _

“And smiles are great and all but yours--” The smaller girl stops walking to turn back around. Yerim freezes.

Yerim watches the girl look up and glare at her, staring up at her with such a scrutinizing gaze. Yerim feels the hair on her skin stand up.

“Your smile looks painfully fake.”

“Excuse me?” Yerim furrows her eyebrows, and for that moment, the permanent smile on her face disappears. “Do you have a problem with the way I smile?”

The smaller girl only laughs. She tucks a strand of her bleached, blonde hair away from her face and behind her ear.  _ Isn’t it against the school’s rules to dye your hair…?  _ Yerim finds herself distracted by how bright it looked even under the dimming light of the sun falling down.

“I already said it. It looks fake. Even counterfeit clothes look more convincing than your smiles.” The smaller girl teases.

Yerim feels herself steadily grow furious. She takes a deep breath.  _ Don’t lose your temper. _

“Who are you?” She asks slowly, walking behind the smaller girl. “Why do you know who I am?”

“Why wouldn’t I? Everyone knows who you are, you know?” The girl kicks pebbles around as they start walking again. 

“I just started going to school here a few months ago and yet everyone keeps talking about Yerim this, Yerim that.” There was an obvious tone of boredom in the smaller girl’s voice. “I wanted to see if this Yerim was as perfect as everyone makes her to be, but it turns out that she’s just a big fake.”

“That’s just plain rude.” Yerim bites back in irritation.

“I know.” The smaller girl smiles up to her teasingly, and Yerim can’t help but find it annoying. 

Yerim opens her mouth up to speak, complain, or whatever comes to her mind at that moment, however the smaller girl beats her to it. “Im Yeojin’s my name.” Yeojin peeks up to look at Yerim. “Well, it’s not like you’ll remember it.”

“Huh?” Yerim says, dumbfounded.

Yeojin rolls her eyes before focusing on the sidewalk in front of them, “Fake _ and _ deaf. I see.” Yerim glares at Yeojin, and Yeojin backs away a bit. Then, Yeojin laughs at the look of irritation present on Yerim’s face.

“What class are you in?” Yerim asks.  _ Surely, she doesn’t think she can get away with this, right? _

“Why would I tell  _ you _ , of all people?” Yeojin sneers. Yerim feels herself clench her fist. “You’re in the council, aren’t you?”

“Yeah--”

“If a certain someone hears about me talking to you this way, they’d get mad at me.” Yeojin laughs to herself. 

Soon, Yerim could make out the gate of her house in the distance.

“It’s nice to meet you Yerim, see you around!” Yeojin takes off and jogs ahead, leaving Yerim to look at her in disgust from behind.

“Well, I didn’t enjoy meeting you…” Yerim mutters to herself. She takes a deep breath before she enters her home.

Yeojin was right though, and Yerim knew that, but she didn’t think it was  _ that  _ obvious. Did everyone see through her facade?

Should it even matter? Yerim doesn’t even know when she started collecting masks upon her wall to pick and choose depending on who she was talking to. 

She thinks that maybe it’s just the feeling of dissatisfaction when you’re not doing things right.

Maybe it’s just the constant feeling of wanting to be better. Maybe it’s the pressure of having no one to compete with except yourself.

But Yerim would rather not think about it.

And it’s not like she’s  _ fake _ , like how Yeojin claims her to be. She just wants to be kinder to everyone, so no one feels left out. Maybe doing that gave Yeojin the impression that she was trying to be someone she’s not.

_ But aren’t you trying to be someone you’re not?  _ A little, pesky voice inside her head snarls at her, and Yerim forces it to pipe down.

Along the way, Yerim lost the original reason why she ended up this way.  _ Who am I beneath this cheery persona I have for myself? _ Yerim would never know.

That’s what Yerim would like to believe, at least.

But what was once Yerim’s careful plan of getting through high school with no one bothering her is now an entire mess. Of all the scenarios she’s thought through her head, she never thought only one person would wreck her picture perfect plan.

_ Im Yeojin. _ The girl’s starting to feel like a mystery to Yerim. Maybe even more of a mystery than herself.

Yeojin felt like an indie rock song trying to play through her old, broken mp3 player that refuses to play anything other than a disgustingly catchy pop song,

Yerim hates the feeling, but at the same time, she feels drawn to find out and hear Yeojin’s song. It felt odd to know that someone on their campus did not like her at all.

_ I can’t wait for tomorrow. _ The words were dripping with sarcasm in her head. _ Can’t wait to do this all over again. _

Her phone buzzes with new messages from people she could barely call friends. She reads through casual conversations and replies, just as plainly, to every single one of them.

Occasionally, she’ll read through messages of someone trying to use her like a personal diary, and she’ll answer back with vague reassuring statements like “You can do this,” or “I believe in you!” and somehow it works.

When her alarm rings, it’s eight in the evening, and she shuts her phone down to study on the material for the next day. Her eyes wander around the text of each page and she clicks her pen as she scans through it.

Write and rewrite, scribble and highlight. An empty routine for an equally empty girl.

After she finishes her review, she cleans up around her room and eats a quick snack. The telephone in her living room rings and she picks it up.

“Hello? Yerim?” The voice of her mother on the other side calls out to her and Yerim merely hums in acknowledgment. “I’ll be late again tonight, I left money on the counter—you can order some takeout, okay? Don’t skip dinner.”

“Okay.” And with that, the call ends.

Yerim takes the money, but she doesn’t use it. She looks around the kitchen and finds packets of instant ramen. A stash she hid from her mother.  _ Not that it matters. She’s never home. _

She cooks it without the eggs tonight, and she eats up quickly. Then she washes her bowl, takes a quick shower, and then she heads off to bed. Like she’s practiced it so many times.

Like loneliness was just another one of her so-called friends.

The next day, Yerim woke up normally.

She wasn’t exactly in her best mood, but she didn’t wake up on the wrong side of her bed.

She was just… there.

When Yerim walks out her house’s gates, clad in her school uniform and her school bag in her hands, she spots Yeojin walking out of the gate two houses away from her own.

_ Oh. She was the one who moved in three months ago? I didn’t even realize. _

Yeojin catches her gaze, and then she rolls her eyes. Yerim felt a bit taken aback.

Yeojin walks away, as if she was ignoring Yerim’s presence entirely. Yerim couldn’t help but feel offended by that.

So she follows Yeojin and walks next to her, and she hears an exasperated sigh from Yeojin. “Can you not stand so close to me?”

“Why not?” Yerim feigns ignorance. Of course she knows well why Yeojin doesn’t want her nearby, and it has to do with her behaviour right now.

“I thought I made it clear yesterday that I don’t like you.” Yeojin’s voice was steely and cold. Yerim wasn’t fazed.

“Well then I’ll make you like me.” Yerim states, as if she were confident about it. “You have a problem with that?”

“I can’t like someone who doesn’t even know who she is.” Yeojin glares at Yerim. 

_ Wow, was she this hostile yesterday?  _ But Yerim shook her head. If there was one thing she knew about her, it’s that she never quits something once she commits to it.

And what exactly is she committing to? Yeojin?

That sounds awfully suspicious.

“How are you so sure that I don’t know who I am, huh?” Yerim nudges Yeojin back with her words. “Whenever you call me fake, you’re practically invalidating who I am.”

“That,” Yeojin makes a wild gesture towards Yerim’s whole body. “That thing is not who you are.”

Yerim scoffs. “Thing?”

“It’s hideous.” Yeojin continues.

“You’re unbelievably mean, you know that?” Yerim glares at the smaller girl before her.

Yeojin only pokes her tongue out teasingly, tucking a strand of her blonde hair behind her ear. “I’m well aware of it, yeah. Why, thinking of leaving me alone if I act like this?”

Yerim feels her eye twitch. “I’m actually more determined to get to know you that way.”

“Are you a masochist of some sort?” Yeojin grimaces. “Keep that to yourself.”

“I’m not.” Yerim’s frown grew deeper. She never frowned this much in front of someone else.

Yeojin notices this, and somehow she feels smug about it. “Ah, the devil bares its fangs.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?” As if Yerim’s frown couldn’t get any deeper than this.

“It  _ means _ you’re not being your fake self right now. Not that it matters, I hate all of your facades equally.” Yeojin nonchalantly skips ahead, and Yerim jogs up a bit to catch up to her.

“What class are you in?” Yerim’s tone was sort of demanding. It was a follow-up question to something she asked yesterday.

“Why are you so curious about it?” Yeojin squints when she looks at Yerim, as if she was suspecting Yerim of devising a dubious plan. Yerim wasn’t, but she seemed to be dancing around the idea.

Yerim hums for a bit, thinking it over. Then, the perfect plan pops into her mind. “I’m curious about  _ you. _ ” Yerim’s voice started to sound teasing instead of the urgent and demanding tone she had earlier.

It throws Yeojin off for a split-second. “What?” Yeojin stops walking. “What the hell is that supposed to mean?”

_ It wouldn’t hurt to play around a little, right?  _

Yerim tells herself it’s fine.

She takes a step closer to Yeojin, and she sees the little gulp that Yeojin does.  _ Perfect.  _ “I want to get to know you. Is that bad?”

“I don’t know what you’re trying to do, but I don’t like it.”

“I’ll walk you to your class, Yeojin.” Yerim’s voice was so sickeningly sweet that there was something off about it. She ignores the way Yeojin was looking back at her, perusing Yerim’s actions.

“I don’t want you to.”

“You don’t have a choice.” Yerim takes the bag that Yeojin was holding with a swift movement, and Yeojin opens up her mouth to protest.

“Give it back to me.” The younger girl’s voice was stern.

“I’ll carry it for you. If you want something to hold on to, you can just take my hand.” Yerim gives her a smirk, and Yeojin absolutely despises how it looks.

“Wow, going from arguing with me to trying to get with me. I see how it is, Yerim.” Yeojin quips. “But you’re not getting what you want.”

_ But what exactly do I want?  _ Yerim ignores that little voice in her head like she always does.

“Oh, I don’t think you see how it is.” Yerim teases.  _ Because I also don’t know what I’m trying to do.  _ “So let me walk you to class.”

Yeojin stares at her with such a hard gaze that Yerim feels a tiny bit of her resolve crack. But she’s going to push through. Obviously.

“Fine.” Yeojin gritted her teeth. “Drop me off and then that’s it. Don’t talk to me afterwards.”

“I can’t promise you that.”

“Have I told you I hate you?” Yeojin’s words had a certain sharp edge to it.

“You haven’t, but I know.”  _ And I’m going to change that. _

So far, Yerim has been stuck listening to one song her entire life. Im Yeojin felt like that new mp3 player she wanted but never had, or a new song that Yerim was always looking for. God, it felt so exhilarating knowing someone actually couldn’t stand her.

_ I can’t wait to hear a new song. _


	2. change of plans

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Yeojin ponders whether she really hated Yerim, or hated everything that she associated with Yerim.
> 
> Was there really a difference? She wonders.

It might have been odd to see a third year student walking around the second year classrooms with two bags slinging over her shoulders, but Yerim thought the way she was drawing so much attention was beyond usual.

Yes, attention seemed to follow Yerim wherever she went, but this felt a bit too much.

“You’re a second year, Yeojin?” In an attempt to ignore the pairs of eyes boring holes into her, Yerim starts a conversation with the younger girl.

“Please don’t talk to me.” Yeojin, on the other hand, wasn’t exactly fond of the idea. “I don’t want to be associated with _you._ I would like my school life to be normal, thank you very much.”

“Am I not normal?”

A scoff escaped Yeojin’s lips.

“You wish.” Yeojin quickened her pace, and Yerim followed suit with a grin on her face. 

Soon enough, they stop in front of one of the second year classrooms. Class 2-C, it read, and Yerim made a mental note to visit often. “You can leave me here. Give me my stuff.” Yeojin says, and she stretches her hand out to take her school bag.

“Okay,” Yerim hands Yeojin the school bag. Yeojin glared at her in return. “Can I come in?”

“Hell no.” Yeojin turns around quickly and enters the room.

What exactly goes through Yerim’s mind might end up to be a mystery to Yeojin for as long as she sees the other girl. Not that she cares. She plans to go through the rest of high school under the radar, doing what she wants when she wants it.

Speaking of which, Yerim had dropped her off to the classroom even though she had no intention of going to class.

Her classmates were certainly surprised to see her. It felt more uncomfortable than walking through the corridor with Yerim next to her. 

Was Yeojin always this popular?

Yeojin hoped not.

She takes a deep breath and exhales it all out swiftly, as if preparing herself for the unnecessary attention she was likely to get today.

The door slides open and the teacher for that period walks in. What subject was this again? Math? History? Yeojin shrugs the thought off. She never really tried to learn her schedule.

She ponders when was the last time she entered the classroom this way. If she hadn’t seen Yerim on the way, would she even be in the classroom?

Yeojin thinks she wouldn’t. After all, she’s spent most of her time in school loitering around the campus for a few minutes, sneaking away from students and teachers alike, and then ending up in the closed-off building that was originally reserved as the storage room for the band.

As far as Yeojin knows, however, the band already disbanded way long before she was in this school. These types of thoughts intrude her brain, and it seems like time was moving fast as she does so.

Before she knew it, the period had ended and the teacher left their classroom. She thinks about the place she usually runs off to when she enters the campus.

_Hm. I kinda miss it._

It would seem odd to others if they had heard her thoughts. After all, she was missing an unkept and messy place in just a day.

She follows after the teacher with her bag in her hand. Her classmates stare at her with their mouths agape, as if to ask where she was going, but they decide against it.

_What, am I scaring them? Is it the blonde hair?_ Yeojin doesn’t really care about it.

She skips towards the stairs and runs down it, then she slips out of the building through an open window, checking around her surroundings to make sure no one was watching her.

She always wondered why the band in their school was practically nonexistent now, save for the obvious evidence in the storage room like instruments and cases around. She liked to make stories up like a dramatic death or something. That would have made the newspapers.

But she knows that they probably disbanded like any other club would have. For example, they probably didn’t have enough members anymore, or the funds were too low, or the students just didn’t have time for it.

Such is human relationships, Yeojin muses. Flimsy, and irrelevant to her.

She arrives at the building. _Can it be called a building?_

It was small. It looked more like an old shack than a building of some sort. Yeojin guesses that it was probably as big as her classroom.

The sliding metal door creaks slightly as she opens it. She walks in with careful steps, as if she could find anyone inside anytime soon.

To her relief, no one was there.

She sits in the corner of the dusty room. Cases to what Yeojin assumes were brass instruments were lined up against the walls. She scrunches her nose as she inhales the stuffy scent of molding leather and dust. It doesn’t help that the room had a heavy air to it.

She rests her head against the wall and closes her eyes.

_What now?_

Yeojin isn’t entirely sure. She contemplated slipping out of the school campus in general and just loitering around town, maybe go to a park or to the mall, anywhere but home and school.

But then Yerim crosses her mind, and suddenly Yeojin feels irritable.

_God, everywhere she goes, she just draws the attention of people around her, huh?_

The bitter thought lingers around her mind. Yeojin has seen her fair share of people like Yerim. Moving around all the time, something about her mother’s job, or was it her father’s? Yeojin didn’t really think about it too much.

One thing’s for sure in her head. There’s always that fake person in school, pretending to be someone they’re not.

Yeojin wonders if being loved by everyone really was all that important. What does it feel to be on top of the world with the expectations of other people riding your back?

Yeojin thinks that it probably wasn’t the best feeling.

So, yes, she hates Yerim, but a part of her knows that she doesn’t _hate_ Yerim.

She wonders why she spoke to Yerim, though. She had always avoided people like Yerim like they carried the plague, but the sour expression on Yerim’s face yesterday and the sluggish form she had as she walked down the street probably drew Yeojin in.

_Is that really it?_

Yeojin shakes the thought off. What else could it be?

Maybe she went too far, Yeojin thinks, after all they were both dealing with their own things, right? Not that Yeojin knows, but she assumes that even the most perfect person on campus has her own problems.

Who doesn’t? Having no problems would mean that you were God’s favorite.

By now, Yeojin was laying on the dusty floor. Her eyes stay trained on the ceiling above, and she lazily plays with the cloth of her uniform’s skirt. 

It had already been the second semester without Yeojin realizing it, if she were to be honest. Even though she transferred in the middle of the first semester, it seemed like time was going by too fast.

Was she worried about her grades? Probably. But school doesn’t appeal to her as much as her peers do, and she wasn’t as worried about her future as the rest of the students in the school seem to be.

Was Yerim worried about her future too? Yeojin wanted to know. But a part of her knows the distance between a person like her and a person like Yerim.

_Maybe I hate her because she’s someone I want to be?_ Yeojin dances around that thought for a while. It wasn’t as far off from the truth, she guesses. She’s well aware that she wants friends or a little bit of attention, but with the situation she’s in, it seems too unlikely for her.

  
She’d move away soon, anyways. Why should she bother with forming bonds?

Just as she was about to stand up to leave the little shack she was in, the door slides open. She scrambles to sit up and she holds her breath, waiting for a teacher’s voice to scold her or a student to yell.

But she was met with a low humming tune, or something that resembled singing while mumbling the lyrics to the song. Yeojin didn’t have enough time to decipher what it sounded like because of how startled she was.

There she was, back pressed against the cold, dusty wall once again, holding her breath.

A desk was slightly obscuring her vision from seeing who exactly had walked in, and her mind was racing with plans on how to get out of the shack unnoticed. In the last two months or so, never had she seen anyone enter this shack before.

Yeojin was baffled, although that word could be an understatement. In fact, she was not only baffled, but also absolutely terrified of what could happen if it ended up to be a teacher or something.

She catches a glimpse of the other person’s outfit, which turned out to be a uniform much like what she was wearing.

She then hears shuffling and the sound of a zipper unzipping. Yeojin tries her best to keep herself still and entertained by watching the paint peel off the wall beside her.

Then a voice started singing, a bit louder this time but not loud enough to gather attention from the outside. The sound of a guitar accompanied the voice, although the guitar sounded like it hadn’t been tuned for a while. The scratchy noise each strum had accompanied with made it seem like the strings were rusty.

The shack was pretty far away from the actual main building of their school campus, so it explains how confident this other girl had been as she sang.

Was it a girl? Yeojin didn't want to assume, but the voice sounded sweet, and there’s no way in hell a man could sound that way.

Or maybe they could? Yeojin really wasn’t that well-versed in music to know.

What she did know, however, that the song the other girl was playing was an old one. A classic, at that. Yeojin can attest that everyone in the entire planet probably knew at least some of the words of this particular song.

But what now? Yeojin may have been having fun listening to the sweet tune the old guitar was playing along with the words to the oh so familiar song.

_Speaking of songs_. Yeojin had a particular attachment to this song that cuts through the air. It was the song her dad would play as they drove down the winding roads through countrysides or even through cities.

Yeojin had such an unstable life that a part of her feels like this song was the only constant thing in it.

Before she knew it, she found herself singing along, as if forgetting that she wasn’t supposed to be saying a word.

The song stops abruptly, and if it could, Yeojin guesses that there would have been the sound effect of a record scratch somewhere there.

Oh. Did she ruin the mood?

Nevertheless, the feeling of fear and panic courses through Yeojin’s veins again, and she’s brought back to the reality of the situation she’s in right now.

“Who’s there?”

Suddenly the voice sounded a bit familiar, but Yeojin couldn’t exactly pinpoint who owned the voice. But a thought crosses her mind, reminding her that she didn’t know anyone in school but _her._

With a sigh, Yeojin surrenders. She stands up, and although her legs feel numb from sitting so long, she stands without wobbling.

“It’s just me, Yerim.”

Yerim’s eyes had flashed a brief expression of shock before it went back to it’s normal glimmering ones. Was that the normal one? Or was it another act? Yeojin didn’t want to ponder too long around it. She just wanted to walk out.

So she grabs her stuff and prepares to exit the shack.

“Wait.” Yerim’s voice had a certain sense of urgency behind it. Yeojin pauses. “Don’t tell anyone you saw me here.”

Yeojin stays silent. Her eyes wandered to Yerim’s hand that was grasping the neck of the guitar tightly. Yeojin figures that this shack wasn’t only _hers_ , per se. She seemed to have shared her hiding spot with the person she hated the most.

At least, at the moment.

“I won’t tell.”

“How am I supposed to know?” Yerim pushes through, and Yeojin fights back the urge to roll her eyes.

“I don’t know what kind of delinquent you see me as, or if you think I’m a goody-two-shoes like you who’d jump at the opportunity of kissing up to teachers by telling on other students,” Yeojin looks at Yerim with a faint look of distaste, “But I don’t stoop that low. If this place makes you comfortable, then so be it.”

Yerim, who was sitting on a desk this entire time, was frozen. She looked at Yeojin as if she was trying to read the younger girl, but she couldn’t.

“Is that what this place makes you feel?” She asks, her voice quiet compared to the booming energy she seemed to have resonated around other people.

“Huh?” Yeojin tilts her head. “What do you mean?”

“I mean does this place make you feel comfortable?”

Yerim confuses Yeojin. It was as if every time they have an encounter, which isn’t even a lot yet, Yerim had a different side to show. Yeojin was having a hard time keeping up. _Were people always like this?_

But her attention comes back to Yerim as she watches the older girl keep her gaze downcast. 

“Not really.” Yeojin didn’t really know how to answer. “I just found this place while trying to skip class.”

“I see.”

“It’s dusty and old and the paint is falling apart…” Yeojin continues. Somewhere along the way, she had walked closer to where Yerim was. “Honestly, it’s more of a temporary getaway. Like always.”

“Like always?”

“It’s nothing.” Yeojin shakes her head to emphasize her words. Yerim doesn’t say anything else.

“If this is like a temporary getaway, you don’t have to leave _now,_ you know?” It was more of a rhetorical question, Yeojin thinks, and the way Yerim was saying it seemed like the older girl was suggesting something.

Something like, _stay,_ her eyes would tell Yeojin that word.

But did she really want to? It’s barely even close to lunch period, and Yeojin had originally planned to step out of the campus. Not to mention, Yerim was the girl she hated with a burning passion.

_How many times was I going to tell myself that?_

Even so, Yeojin weighs down the pros and cons of all of her options. If this was Yerim’s comfortable place, then could there be more things Yeojin could learn about her or will Yerim continue to put up that act where she’s all peppy and perfect and _fine?_

Would Yeojin even be willing to stay through that? _Eh, it wouldn’t hurt to try._

Without really answering Yerim, she places her bag down on the floor beside the desk Yerim was sitting at. She moves around and hoists herself up to sit beside Yerim.

“I’ll stay if you play me the song again.” Yeojin whispers.

Yerim stares at her for a moment, and Yeojin starts thinking about whether she said something wrong.

_I thought I didn’t care about what others think?_ Her mind races.

But Yerim simply gives her a nod, and she starts the intro of the song again.

Yeojin moves her head along the beat, singing some parts of the song along with Yerim’s voice.

It felt strange. Yeojin, as an only child, never really had company like this. Someone who would sit down and play the guitar for her or maybe bicker with her. Was Yerim someone who she could think of as a sister?

Yeojin shakes her head. _No way._

Without realizing it, the song ends, and Yerim catches her breath for a bit. She shifts her focus from the strings of the guitar to Yeojin’s side profile, and she tries her best to form a sentence.

From the looks of it, it doesn’t seem like she knows how to speak.

“Thanks.” Yeojin says instead, not waiting for Yerim to talk to her.

“Oh, it’s okay.”

Then a curtain of silence falls upon the both of them, and Yeojin finds herself feeling increasingly uncomfortable.

Was it really worth it staying in this shack with Yerim? Yeojin was contemplating her decision once more.

“Yerim, can I ask you something?” Yeojin had asked her a question, even though her gaze was fixated on the cases of the euphoniums and saxophones on the opposite side of them. Yerim lets her gaze wander there too.

“Is it a hard question?” Yerim asks, and she hears Yeojin scoff.

“Depends on how you take it.” Yeojin kicks her legs. Yerim noticed that Yeojin’s legs were above the ground while her own stayed planted firmly on the floor beneath them. “You’re not obliged to answer if you don’t want to.”

“How considerate.” Yerim teases.

“Like I said, I’m not some sort of demon like you think I am.” Yeojin bites back, although her voice sounded like it lacked interest.

“Go ahead then.”

Yeojin hums a bit, and the swaying of her legs causes Yerim to be distracted by it for a while. “Why do you act the way you do?”

Yerim pauses. Was that the question?

_Of course it was._

“I don’t really get what you’re trying to ask me.” Yerim mutters back, and her fingers twiddle around the hem of her uniform’s skirt.

“Why do you act like you’re perfect?”

“Where did you get that idea?”

“Do you not?”

“What, act perfect?”

“That’s exactly what I’m asking you.” Yeojin brings back the spotlight to Yerim. She felt like if she continued doing this questioning back and forth with Yerim, they would never reach a proper conclusion.

“I’m not trying to act perfect.” Yerim speaks, and at that moment, Yeojin thinks that Yerim’s a bit nuanced.

“I find it hard to believe you.” Yeojin murmurs, a bit disappointed at Yerim’s answer.

“I’m serious.” The way Yerim said it did make her sound like she wasn’t joking, but Yeojin didn’t want to _understand_ Yerim.

_What? Then why did I stay behind, if not to get to know her?_ Yeojin decides that those thoughts would be the problem she’d solve for the day.

“What you see is not a facade, like you said before.” Yerim continues, and Yeojin hums to let her know that she was still listening. “It’s just me.”

“I see.” Yeojin really doesn’t, but she wasn’t in the mood to ask more.

As if she sensed it, Yerim opens her mouth to speak, as if to complain or protest something, but the ringing of the bell signifying lunch break interrupts her and words just don’t fall out of her mouth.

“Ah, it’s lunch.” _Talk about stating the obvious,_ Yerim wanted to tell Yeojin but she bites her tongue. “Are you planning on going back to class?”

“No, I told the teachers I had business to attend to.”

“And they believed that? Wow, it must be nice to be the teacher’s pet.” Yeojin laughs to herself.

Was it necessary for her to always have off-handed remarks when she was talking to Yerim? Yerim hoped not.

“Well then,” Yeojin gets off the desk with a small huff. She picks up her school bag beside Yerim and gives Yerim a look. “Wanna leave school?”

_Say no,_ Yerim tells herself. But there was something about the peeking sunlight from the window that fell upon Yeojin’s face and the faint glow in her eyes that opted Yerim to agree.

Yeojin merely grins and holds onto Yerim’s wrist. “Do you have a bike?”

“I do.”

“Let’s take your bike and go, then.”

"Even if it's at home?"

"Yep."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don't know how long I plan on making this. It was really originally just a one-shot idea. Also, comment and talk about this fic anywhere! I lurk around hehe


	3. to be so lonely

Whenever Yerim sees Yeojin ahead of her, she’s reminded of something she’s read before.

Although she’s long forgotten what it had been, after all, reading books didn’t really charm her in any way, she can’t help but think about the words standing at the tip of her tongue.

“I really can’t remember…” She mutters, and Yeojin looks behind her to give her a small “ _ Did you say something?”  _ look.

Yerim shakes her head, and Yeojin only raises her eyebrow before turning her head away from Yerim.

Having escaped their school campus successfully, Yerim finds herself trailing behind Yeojin. Her mind had wondered how exactly the situation had ended up this way.

It was never Yerim’s intention to skip classes, if she were to be honest. In fact, right now as she stares at Yeojin’s back, she realizes that it’s the first time she’s ever going to skip class. 

What had happened earlier was just a little break, and Yerim had originally planned to go back to her duties after calming herself down from all the stress she had been feeling.

_ “Are you planning on going back to class?” _

Obviously, Yerim did want to go back to class. She wanted to tell Yeojin that she shouldn’t be spending her time in the old band’s shack and that she should be studying hard in the classroom.

Then again, as she recalls the glimmer that Yeojin possessed within her eyes, Yerim knew that she probably would have agreed to skipping class with her anyways.

Besides, wouldn’t it be more fun to run around town with someone you barely know than staying within the four walls of boring classrooms doing nothing but the usual all day?

Of course it would be.

Now, Yeojin was skipping ahead of her, eager to get to Yerim’s home as quickly as they could. The time on Yerim’s phone told her that it was only twenty minutes since they left the school campus.

Yerim grasped her school bag in hand. Wouldn’t people question why students in uniform are out in broad daylight while classes are still in session? Yerim found herself worrying about it.

Sooner or later, Yerim stood in front of her house’s gates. She takes out her keys and opens it, beckoning to Yeojin. “Come here.”

Yeojin leaned her weight against the gate and pondered for a while. “Actually, I think I’ll get changed.”

“Like, your clothes?” Yerim blinks.  _ Where did Yeojin live again? _

“Yeah, you go change into something more comfortable too.” Yerim noticed that whenever Yeojin grins her eyes seemed to disappear.

“Oh, okay. Do you need a ride to your house?” Yerim offers, and Yeojin looks at her like she’s grown two heads.

“I live right there.”

“Right.”  _ I can’t believe I forgot again. _

“Give me five minutes, I’ll come pick you up.” Without waiting for a reply, Yeojin jogs off.

Yerim’s gaze lingered for a bit before she decided to enter her home.

As she expected, it was empty. When was the last time she saw someone else other than herself in here? Yerim would rather not think about it.

She takes her time when she changes her clothes, and since she’d be showing Yeojin around, she decided to prioritize comfort over style.

Yeojin wouldn’t care anyways. It’s not like Yerim was going to try to impress the younger girl.

But as she puts on her hoodie, her mind wanders to when she first met Yeojin. Did she ever think about spending her time on a school day with the girl who “hates” her? Not at all.

Yerim checks her phone for the weather. Seeing as it’s just the beginning of September, she wonders whether it would rain. Surprisingly, the skies were going to be clear for the next few days. Yerim takes a mental note of it.

The doorbell rings, and the sharp noise makes Yerim’s ears ring.

Before she opens the door however, Yeojin beats her to it. Did this girl have no manners?

“... Come in.”

“Already in, thanks though.” Yeojin’s voice was cheeky, as if she was well aware of how mad she was making Yerim feel. “Can we eat something before we go?”

“Sure,” Yerim nods. She looks at where she keeps her stash of ramen. “I think I have some ramen over there.”

“Ramen?”

“Yeah. You have a problem with it?” Yerim gives Yeojin a pointed glare, as if she was testing her.

“Don’t you have, like, meals here?” Yeojin wonders out loud.

“Non-existent.” Yerim quips back, and Yeojin only raises her eyebrow. “If you’re gonna complain about it, then don’t eat.”

Yeojin ignores her and walks over to where the refrigerator was. She opens it only to find that there was nothing there. “Doesn’t your mom go grocery shopping or something?”

“Nope.” Yerim answered almost immediately. “Why would she do that?”

“Isn’t that normal?” Yeojin squints her eyes. “Or is your mom not good at cooking?”

“I don’t know.” Yerim replies. “I don’t think she ever tried cooking for me.”

“Oh, okay.”

The silence that envelops them was uncomfortable for Yeojin. This was exactly why she found it hard trying to make friends. She feels like if she doesn’t keep thinking about a topic or anything to talk about, everything will just end there.

But then again, why would she bother making friends in the first place?

“Alright, change of plans. You don’t have to show me around town anymore.” Yeojin suddenly decides. She closes the refrigerator door before she walks up to Yerim. “Let’s go shopping. I’m cooking you something.”

“What? I wanted to go out…” Yerim murmurs. Yeojin was close enough that Yerim could smell the faint scent of her perfume. It smelled kind of like a rainforest? Yerim reminded herself to ask Yeojin about it later. “And didn’t you want me to show you around town?”

“I don’t need that, I’ve been living here since June.” Yeojin laughs. “Sorry to break it to you, but I’m already used to this place.”

“Why did you ask me to show you around then?”

“Not important. What’s important right now is food.” Yeojin points to her stomach. “It’s hungry and mad.”

“Go buy your stuff then. I’m sticking to Ramen.” Yerim grumbles, and she is about to go to where she keeps her Ramen, but Yeojin grabs her by her hoodie’s sleeve.

“You’re coming with me.”

That’s how Yerim finds herself being dragged by the hand around the local market by a girl much smaller than her. Yerim lost count of how many times she asked Yeojin to let go of her because Yeojin’s pace was just far too quick for her feet to keep up with.

“What do you want to eat? I’ll make it for you.” Yeojin had an aura of smugness surrounding her once the words slipped out of her mouth, as if she was  _ that  _ confident in her cooking skills.

“I really don’t care.” Yerim thought about forcing Yeojin’s fingers off of her hand, but a part of her has never really held a hand before.

Wow, that sounded kinda sad.

“I’ll make you some bulgogi then.” Yeojin quite literally bounces, and Yerim can’t help but feel a bit drained. “Let’s get the ingredients. Do you know what they are?”

Yerim shakes her head.

Yeojin starts listing things off from the top of her head, as if she had memorized the recipe by heart. She drags Yerim around the market, and lucky for them, it wasn’t really crowded.

Given, it is the middle of the day and they were both supposed to be in school.

Other than that, though, Yerim thinks about the hand holding hers. Isn’t their relationship moving too quick? What  _ was  _ their relationship, even? 

_ I thought she hated me.  _ Yerim wonders to herself.  _ Is this how she hates people? _

Just like that, Yerim feels even more confused when it comes to Yeojin. She shows up, spits insults from right and left, warns Yerim to stay away from her, and yet here she is holding onto Yerim’s hand with an excitable grin on her face.

_ You’re so weird, Yeojin. _

Yerim chose to keep quiet, though. Was she fond of the unnecessary skinship between them right now? Well, not entirely, but she didn’t have the heart to deny Yeojin. 

See? Yerim was kind.

Their time in the market didn’t run too long, since before Yerim realized it, Yeojin was done gathering the ingredients.

Yerim thought once they were out of the market, Yeojin would finally let go of her hand.

She was wrong, though.

“Yeojin,” Yerim speaks, and Yeojin hums her reply. “You’re quite clingy, aren’t you?”

“No.” Yeojin’s voice sounded so serious, and Yerim would have believed it if it weren’t for the hand that was still wrapped around hers. “Why would you say that?”

Yerim stopped walking, and Yeojin did too--after all, their hands were intertwined. Yerim looked at her dead in the eyes and raised their hands up. “Is this not clingy to you?”

“Oh.” Yeojin let go as soon as Yerim pointed it out. “Right. Sorry.”

_ Did I say something wrong?  _ Yerim asks herself as she looks at how Yeojin’s gaze was now directed to the ground beneath them. 

“Let me carry that.” Yerim says in an attempt of saving herself, but Yeojin only shakes her head.

They both keep quiet as they walk side by side. Yerim estimates that it's going to take about four more minutes before they reach her house.

Yerim’s mind dances around the idea of her possibly offending Yeojin a few moments ago. 

But why should she care? After all, Yeojin hated her, right?

_ Right?  _ The sullen look on Yeojin's face screams otherwise.

Yerim thinks that maybe the other girl had just gotten carried away. She wonders if Yeojin often skipped classes with her friends and offered to cook them meals.

It was four more minutes of unbearable silence before their feet led them back to the black gate of Yerim’s home.

Even as they stepped inside the quiet home, they both made no effort to speak. Yeojin took her shoes off and immediately made her way towards the kitchen. Yerim was left with no choice but to lag behind her.

Yerim could only take so much, though. Yeojin had already taken the ingredients out and laid them on top of the island counter. The ruffling of the plastic bag was the only sound that Yerim could hear, along with how Yeojin seemed to breathe so hard. Was that normal?

Yeojin didn’t look sick. Maybe that’s just how she is?

Yeojin looks around the kitchen. Her eyes bounce around the area, as if she was looking for something. Yerim decided this was the best time to speak up.

“You know, if you don’t know where the pans are, I could show you.”

Yeojin ignored her words, though. Yerim found herself thinking that she found something out about Yeojin today.

She watches as Yeojin walks around cupboard to cupboard, looking for the said pans or pots or whatever she really needed. Yerim thinks that Yeojin’s an impatient and stubborn girl. If she wasn’t, she wouldn’t drag Yerim out of her own home following a line of thought that only she knew, and she wouldn’t be walking around the Yerim’s kitchen looking lost. 

Yerim also thinks that she already has a set of ideals and rules and beliefs that she goes by, completely different from how lost Yerim feels. Yeojin seemed to do whatever she wanted to, and when Yerim thought back to how Yeojin somehow made her feel like skipping class wasn't a bad thing to do, she confirmed this thought.

Yeojin seemed kind of… free.

Given, Yerim was aware that she was the sole reason why she wasn’t as free as Yeojin was. She had locked herself up in the comfort of the walls of her cell-like heart that she somehow forgot who she really was beneath all of that.

Yeojin seemed like she had a sense of who she was early on, and Yerim wanted to know what drove her to feel that way.

After a few minutes, it seemed to Yerim that Yeojin had found what she needed. Yerim didn’t think her presence was needed, and so she walked to her bedroom.

Would that be considered rude? Yerim thinks not. After all, it was Yeojin who invited herself inside Yerim’s house.

It was Yeojin who wanted to do all of this with Yerim.

But still, was it that she wanted to do it with Yerim or did Yerim just happen to be in the right place at the right time? Yerim’s head hurt while she thought about it.

_ Maybe I can sneak in a little nap before we eat? _

Yerim wasn’t even sure if Yeojin was going to share the bulgogi with her. Had she pissed Yeojin off enough for her to do that? Yerim wasn’t sure.

Still, the moment the back of her head hit the pillow, she fell unconscious.

_ Where is she?  _ Yeojin angrily thinks to herself. Everything was almost done and she was quite proud of herself, however the lack of a certain upperclassman in the kitchen was serving to be quite unnerving.

Did Yerim think it was okay to leave a guest in the kitchen? Alone?

Yeojin grumbled to herself the more she thought about it.

In the midst of her feelings, she had finally finished the food. She thought about just eating the two servings by herself if Yerim wasn’t going to arrive soon, but she knew she didn’t have the heart to do that.

She sets the bowls down and walks around the house.

For a bigger-than-average house, it seemed empty. Yeojin compares it to her own home, and she can’t help but feel curious over the lack of decorations or picture frames.

What catches her eye, however, was the fact that only Yerim’s door seemed different from the general theme of the entire house. The door was covered with different colored stickers. The amount of stickers there were on the door was enough to mask the proof of the door’s original paint color.

Not only that, there was a board with Yerim’s name written on it. It looked older than the stickers because of how the sides seemed like they were going to peel off. The handwriting also resembled that of a child.

Yeojin brings her hand up and knocks five times, calling Yerim’s name out softly in case she was interrupting something.

As she knocks, however, the door creaks open slightly, and Yeojin catches a glimpse of Yerim’s body lying comfortably on her bed.

Yeojin pushes the door slowly and enters. She was soon overwhelmed with what she could only describe was Yerim’s scent. How had she known in the first place? Yerim’s scent was already noticeable as long as Yeojin stood close to her. She had a lot of times where she was close to Yerim on this day alone.

But she didn’t expect Yerim’s room to smell that strongly of Yerim. It wasn’t bad, Yeojin just wasn’t used to it. The room was making Yeojin question herself if she knew her own scent.

Her eyes take in the equally empty room amidst an empty house. She started unconsciously looking for anything that could hint to who Yerim really was.

She felt bad snooping around, of course, but her curiosity was outweighing her guilt. She threads around the room as lightly as she could, looking on top of the side tables and desk, only to find nothing.

What she did find, however, was a small old mp3 player in Yerim’s hands and earphones that were already off of Yerim’s ears. Yeojin could faintly hear the song that was playing, but it wasn’t enough for her to actually identify what it was.

When was the last time Yeojin actually saw an mp3 player? She wasn’t entirely sure. And didn’t people nowadays keep their music in their phones?

Yeojin thinks of the mp3 player as her only clue to what kind of person Yerim was. Maybe Yerim was secretly a sentimental person. That was the only reason Yeojin could think of, at least, for now.

She decides to finally wake the older up. She didn’t want to eat cold bulgogi.

Yerim’s bed was smaller than Yeojin anticipated, but she didn’t want to pay too much attention to that fact. What was important to her as of this moment was to wake Yerim up.

She leans over and starts to whisper. “Yerim,” Her voice slightly tickles Yerim’s skin. “Wake up or else I’m eating the bulgogi by myself.”

Yerim mumbles in her sleep, as if her body was aware that Yeojin was talking to her. Yeojin thinks that Yerim might be a sleep talker, and the thought seemed so amusing to her.

“I’m serious,” She whispers again, although a bit louder than her first attempt. She shakes Yerim slightly and Yerim grumbles.

Suddenly, Yerim’s eyes open and she leans up, similar to someone’s reaction after a nightmare. As she did this, she bumps her head against Yeojin’s head and Yeojin lets out a yelp of pain.

“Geez, is that how you wake up everyday?” Yeojin complains, rubbing the now sore spot on her forehead. “The food’s ready. I’ll wait outside--”

“What are you doing in my room?” Yerim’s voice was frantic and hasty. Yeojin was taken aback.

“I came to wake you up.” Yeojin remained surprisingly calm. “That’s all I did, don’t worry.”

Yerim squints at her words, but ultimately decides to believe them. After all, there wasn’t really much inside her room.

Still, she wasn’t fond of people entering her only escape. It would have felt uncomfortable for her to stay in her room with a stranger.

Would she consider Yeojin a stranger? Well, she wasn’t exactly sure.

She felt uneasy seeing the younger girl stand before her looking this innocent, as if she really hadn’t thought about how Yerim could have felt if she entered the room. At least, that’s what Yeojin looks like to Yerim as of now.

Yeojin had her head tilted and her eyebrow raised slightly in confusion. Yerim just sighed to herself.

“Let’s go eat, then.” Yerim mutters mostly to herself, but the delighted smile Yeojin flashed made it clear that she heard Yerim’s words.

Yeojin wasn’t fond of how silent Yerim was while she ate. It’s as if she was permanently in a state of thinking, and Yeojin was not sure how, but she found Yerim’s thoughts to be too noisy for her.

She couldn’t taste the food she made, if Yeojin were to be honest, but she figured that it was the same for a lot of people who cooked their own food. Still, she would have appreciated any kind of comment or compliment from Yerim.

What was she expecting, exactly? Yeojin wasn’t sure herself.

But she didn’t like the way Yerim’s eyebrows were furrowed as she stared at the table, mindlessly chewing on the food. Was she not aware of Yeojin in front of her? Surely, she knew Yeojin was there, right? After all, they left the room together and spent half of the day with each other.

Yerim’s face looked absent of any expression, though. Yeojin couldn’t help but want to know what was going on in her head.

What is it that Yerim’s always thinking about for her to look this way? Not only that, the fact that she wasn’t putting up her obnoxious act like she does in school irks Yeojin. Had she felt comfortable enough to act differently in front of Yeojin or did she think that Yeojin wasn’t worth her time?

Those thoughts made Yeojin feel upset, for reasons unknown to herself.

“Why are you suddenly so quiet?” Yeojin asks, and Yerim looks up with a slightly surprised look in her eyes.

“Weren’t you the silent one earlier?” Yerim questions back, and Yeojin flinches because she knows it’s true.

“Well, stop it. Your thoughts are too loud.” Yeojin slips out, and Yerim asks her silently, somewhere along the lines of  _ what does that mean? _

Yeojin hopes Yerim doesn’t ask. She doesn’t know how to answer it either.

“... How did you know I was thinking about something?”

“It’s on your face, I guess.” Yeojin muses, her chopsticks touching her bottom lip as she hums. “I can see it, you’re somehow screaming your thoughts.”

“Am I that easy to read?” Yerim wonders out loud, and Yeojin gives her a shrug.

“Nah, I don’t think so.” Yeojin eats for a while, and Yerim waits for a continuation. “I just see it?”

“I don’t get it.”

“Neither do I, to be honest.” Yeojin laughed to herself, but it didn’t sound genuine. “You just seem like a lot of people I met before.”

“I can assure you I’m different.” The crease between Yerim’s eyebrows returned momentarily. She seemed to have been doing that a lot in Yeojin’s presence.

“Right. Sure you are.” Yeojin didn’t roll her eyes, but her tone suggests that she wanted to. Yerim opens her mouth to speak, but Yeojin cuts her off. “If you really wanna prove yourself, you can start by telling me about yourself.”

Yerim’s eyes say it all.  _ Are you that curious about me?  _

_ I am.  _ Yeojin says it back.

“I don’t know what you want to hear.” Yerim sighs.

“Not any of the generic stuff.” Yeojin grumbles. “Don’t tell me stuff like, ‘I’m an honor student’, or ‘I like the color pink’. That’s boring.”

“Then what should I say?” Yerim prods and leans forward, resting her chin on her hand as she places her chopsticks down. “What I want to do for the future? Stuff like that?”

“That could work. Just cut that small talk nonsense.”

“I see.”

Yeojin doesn’t mind the silence that comes afterwards. It at least makes her feel like Yerim was giving it some serious thought.

“I don’t think about the future.” Yerim muses, but more to herself. “It just never came up, I guess?”

“Seriously? With your reputation and grades and awards or any of that? I thought you had everything planned.” Yeojin scoffs light-heartedly. “That’s one thing we have in common.”

“You too, huh?”

Yeojin nods. She takes Yerim’s empty bowl and takes her own empty bowl and stacks them on top of each other. “Well then, something other than your future?”

“Yeojin, I don’t really know what to tell you.”

“You’re boring.”

“I know.”

Yeojin sighs before she stands to do the dishes. Yerim offers to do them herself, but Yeojin shoots her down saying it was rude to not do the dishes in someone else’s home.

“You can keep me company if it makes you feel bad.” Yeojin had jokingly said, but Yerim took it to heart.

“What made you come to our school?” Yerim had asked, finally thinking of a topic for them to talk about.

“I don’t know. It’s close?” Yeojin muses. “I’m probably gonna leave it too, though, so I didn’t really think much about it.”

“Leave?” Yerim asks, and Yeojin nods. The sound of the water running fills the silence between them for a while.

“Yep. Leave. All my schools and homes are temporary.” Yeojin’s explanation was short and straight to the point. Yerim wished she could do the same.

“May I ask why?”

“Yeah,” Yeojin leaves the dishes on the rack as it dries, and then she wipes her hands on the towel hanging in front of her. “My mom’s job, I think… Or maybe it was dad? I’m not entirely sure. I never asked them about it.”

“So are they usually home?” Yerim grew nervous as she asked the question. A part of her was wishing that Yeojin would say no, but the guilt that came afterwards made her erase the thought immediately.

“Not as often. I don’t blame them though, they’re trying their best.” Yeojin smiles to herself. Yerim gets the feeling that Yeojin was fond of her parents.

Yerim couldn’t help but feel a bit envious. How can Yeojin love her parents all the same even if they were barely home? Yerim felt a bitter taste on her tongue. She can’t help but compare it to her mother who seems to value her work more and her deadbeat dad.

“I get the feeling that your parents are also barely here,” It seemed like Yeojin’s words weren't exactly targeted towards Yerim. “That’s another thing we have in common, huh? Although, I wish it hadn’t been.”

“Yeah.”

Yerim glances at the wall clock and notes that it’s still half-past four in the afternoon. “What do we do now?” She asks Yeojin. Yeojin only shrugs.

“Can I sleep?” Yeojin asks, and Yerim gives her a confused look. “I couldn’t sleep last night.”

“Why don’t you sleep in your house, then?” Yerim quips, and Yeojin merely hums.

“I don’t like staying at home alone. Makes me feel like a loser.”

“Ah,” Yerim blinks. “I see.”

“Don’t mind me, I’ll nap here on your couch.” Yeojin calls out as she makes her way to the living room.

“Oh, okay.” Yerim wasn’t sure what to say. Was it in this situation where she was supposed to offer her room? Or did that only work during sleepovers? Yerim never really had someone over like this, so she racks her brain for things to say or to do.

Maybe Yerim took too long, because when she peeked through the entrance of the living room, she found Yeojin laying down, steadily breathing. How tired was Yeojin that she fell asleep that quickly?

Not like Yerim was one to complain. After all, that’s what she did while Yeojin was cooking in the kitchen.

When she put it that way, she started feeling guilty. What kind of host was she? How could she let Yeojin, someone who didn’t even  _ like  _ her, cook food for her while she sleeps?

Yeojin confused Yerim because of how drastically different she could be. She could spit insults, then cling onto Yerim in just a few seconds. At least, that’s how it feels for her.

But the way Yeojin looked so calm as she slept made Yerim feel at ease. Out of all the Yeojins, Yerim thinks that this Yeojin was the best one so far.

Still, how could she complain about how different Yeojin is when she has walls and walls on end filled with masks to wear to different situations? Yerim wondered if the way she saw Yeojin was the same for Yeojin.

As she listens to Yeojin’s steady breathing, Yerim finds herself getting sleepier. Who knew thinking was tiring?

Soon enough, she falls fast asleep hunched over the coffee table of their living room with Yeojin right behind her.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This was longer than expected... I hope you're still interested hehe, and I hope you enjoyed!


	4. where we stand

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Yeojin and Yerim finally decide to be friends.
> 
> But they both realize it might be hard to keep it up.

Yerim would like to say that the events of yesterday would have changed her relationship with Yeojin to some extent, and yet, why hadn’t she seen the younger girl around?

She even walked by the second year classrooms looking for a glimpse of the short blonde girl, but she never really saw her. It should have been easy, right? After all, Yeojin was the only one in their campus who bleached her hair.

Even now, as the lunch break begins, the girl is nowhere to be seen in places where students should be. Did Yeojin even go to school? How hard was it to look for someone in such a small school?

Yerim thinks that maybe she should have gotten Yeojin’s number yesterday, but then she remembers the barrage of texts she usually gets from people she didn’t even know, and she ends up thinking that it was probably fine not having it at all.

She thinks back to last night and sighs.  _ Jesus, Yeojin, where could you be? _

Yerim woke up at around ten in the evening last night only to find out that Yeojin had probably left while she was sleeping. Her blanket was draped over her shoulder and there were snacks on the coffee table where she was leaning on.

The gesture touched Yerim, and she started thinking that maybe she can figure out who she is around Yeojin. A part of her knew that being around Yeojin made her feel pretty normal.

It was definitely a breath of fresh air to Yerim. After all, she’s grown accustomed to her, quote en quote, normal lifestyle. Yeojin coming around and breaking through what seemed to be normal to Yerim got Yerim thinking that maybe she should change.

  
What was there to change, exactly?  _ Well, we’ll get there. _

That was her main goal today. However, it seems like she might never accomplish it when she can’t even find Yeojin. Where was the girl anyways?

Yerim walks around the corridors and greets the people around her back, with the signature smile on her face and her eyes disappearing. She’d make small talk sometimes and even give the typical vague pieces of advice.

Yeojin was right. It  _ was _ pretty tiring having to do that every day. How did Yerim ever manage?

She passes by the mini garden, eyeing the poppies and dandelions growing from the dry soil. Seeing them somehow sparks a memory, and then she finally remembers where she found Yeojin yesterday.

_ The band’s shack…  _ Yerim grins to herself as she thinks about it.

Her feet start walking before her mind properly thinks about it, and before she knows it, she starts quickening her pace. The thought of seeing Yeojin soon somewhat excited her.

A teacher tells her off for running, and she apologizes quickly, before speed walking towards the shack.

She found it convenient that the shack was somewhere further away from the main building. She thinks that maybe that’s why Yeojin escapes to it that often.

Still, for a small school, Yerim wonders why they haven’t demolished the small shack. Wouldn’t it be logical to sell the instruments and put that money into growing the school more? Well, she didn’t want to dive deep into it.

She sees the shack in the distance, and the smile grows on her face.

She slides the door open and walks in slowly, eyes scanning every corner to see Yeojin. To her delight, the younger girl was on the floor, apparently taking a nap.

Yerim remembers thinking that Yeojin was best when she was asleep. In fact, her sleeping face made her look like an angel.

_ As long as she’s not awake, she’s an angel, huh?  _ Yerim giggles to herself.

But that sound was enough for Yeojin to wake up from her light nap. Yerim panics slightly when Yeojin’s eyes flutter open to meet hers.

“H-Hi.” Yerim stammers, and she curses herself for being this way. “I was wondering where you were…”

“Why are you here?” Yeojin seems to be grumpy when she just wakes up, Yerim observes. There was a crease between her eyebrows as she grumbled. Yeojin stretches her arms and lets out a little squeak, before exhaling slowly and letting her eyes close once more.

“I was looking for you.” Yerim decided that beating around the bush shouldn’t be how she would approach things. If she truly wanted to figure out who she could be, then she should be honest. Her mother had once told her that that’s how she should be.

“Right. And why would you do that?” Yeojin scrutinized Yerim’s statement, which admittedly made Yerim feel a bit nervous. Did nothing really happen between them yesterday? Was Yerim overthinking their relationship a bit?

“Why? Aren’t we considered friends now?” She decides to take the leap and ask the question that was repeating in the back of her mind.

A scoff escapes Yeojin’s lips. Yerim feels slightly offended.

“Why would you think that we’re friends?” Yeojin smirks when Yerim looks at her with wide eyes.

“You… cooked lunch for me? We hung out yesterday… Isn’t that what friends do?” Yerim asks, tilting her head. Yeojin looks at her the same way. Were they both  _ that  _ clueless about friendship?

“Ah, is that so?” Yeojin asks herself, but Yerim nods. “Shouldn’t friends be defined by us?”

“That’s unfair to the other person, isn’t it?”

“Is it? I think that it’s fine that way.” Yeojin scratches her cheek, giving it some thought. “If I decided that we weren’t friends, then we aren’t. Right?”

“No, not at all.” Yerim furrows her eyebrows. By this time, she had long sat down next to Yeojin, and she was leaning close to her. Yeojin didn’t seem to mind. “What if I wanted to be closer to you?”

“Are you that lonely?” Yeojin asks.

“Aren’t you?” Yerim bites back.

An awkward silence falls upon them like a cloud. Yerim thinks that maybe she struck a nerve.

“Okay, and what’s wrong with being lonely?” Yeojin’s voice cuts through the cloud, but it sounded significantly softer than it had been earlier. “What if I want to be alone?”

“Is that what you really want?” Yerim didn’t want to force anything, even if she wanted to. She knows how bad it feels to be forced into doing something. Still, the nervous hammering of her heart in her chest makes her wish that a part of Yeojin at least liked spending time with her.

But Yeojin remains silent. Yerim can’t read her expression at all. A few minutes pass that way, with Yeojin staring at the ground in front of her and Yerim watching her side profile. Yeojin had a habit of chewing on her lip while she thinks.

Yet another observation Yerim kept in mind.

“I still don’t like you, you know?” Yeojin finally speaks and it feels like an arrow had struck through Yerim’s chest. Of course she knew, that’s why it was so hard for her to talk about it.

“I can make you like me,” Yerim suggests, albeit a bit jokingly. Seeing the slight raise of eyebrows Yeojin did after her statement, she decides to redirect it back to what they were talking about. “No, but seriously. I kind of like having you around.”

Yeojin raises her eyebrow at that, and Yerim wishes she hadn’t said it. “Do you honestly think that’s gonna change anything? The fact that you like having me around?” Yeojin says in disbelief.

Yerim nods, and she looks at Yeojin with hopeful eyes.

“I’m flattered, but no thanks.”

“Why not?”

“I don’t want to be associated with the likes of you.” Yeojin states bluntly.

Yerim exhales slowly. She was getting frustrated, and sadly, Yeojin’s words hurt more than they should have. But that doesn’t stop her.

_ Ah, I should be honest, right?  _ She nods to herself.

“You saw sides of me no one ever saw.” Yerim dives straight to the point. “You entered my room twice, and it’s my special space. No one’s supposed to be there but me.” The way Yeojin blinks at her makes her feel like it caught the younger girl’s attention. “But when I think about it, I don’t think I would mind if it was you who was in that room with me.”

Yeojin keeps quiet, and Yerim looks at how the younger girl seems to start chewing her lip again.

“Isn’t that enough proof that I’m different from the ‘Yerim’ you seem to hate so much?”

“I don’t think so.”

“Yeojin, I just don’t know how to act right.” Yerim was aware of that fact, and it seems like Yeojin was too. “So if you don’t mind, I want to figure that out with you.”

“Why does it have to be with me though?” Yeojin questions her, and Yerim doesn’t exactly know how to answer. But she remembers yesterday, and how Yeojin invited her out, and the glimmer in Yeojin’s doe eyes.

If anything, Yerim thinks that Yeojin could lead her. After all, that’s all she had been doing ever since they met.

“I think yesterday and the day before that was fate.” Yerim smiles. Yeojin squints at the statement.

“You believe in things like fate?”

“I mean, why not?”

“That’s surprisingly…”  _ Cute.  _ Yeojin decided to not say the word that popped into her mind. Instead, she says “childish.” Yerim pouts as she says so.

“Things are already set in stone. You can’t deny fate for so long.” Yerim juts her chest out and points to it proudly with her thumb. “And I’m your fate.” She grins. Yeojin catches a glimpse of Yerim’s eyes.

For the first time, it looked… alive. Yeojin remembers how colorless it seemed when they first met.

But then Yerim keeps eye contact with Yeojin, expecting something from her, and Yeojin internally panics.

_ Quick, do something!  _ Yeojin hears a voice inside her head yell at her.

Yeojin fake gags, and Yerim pouts once again. “I guess that’s fine.”  _ What the heck was that? _

“Really?” The way Yerim said it made her sound so innocent. Yeojin looks up at the older girl. 

Was this really her upperclassman? She seemed more like a dog to Yeojin. She watches for a bit longer as Yerim tilts her head.

_ Maybe a puppy is more appropriate. _

“Yeah, yeah. Do as you please.” Yeojin sighs. Yerim perks up at that. When was the last time she felt this happy? She couldn’t remember.

Or maybe she did, she just didn’t want to think about it. She sees pieces of her childhood. She shoves it in the back of her mind.

Yerim looks at Yeojin’s hands that were hanging on top of her folded knees. She remembers Yeojin holding onto her own hands yesterday.

Didn’t Yerim say something bad? Yerim remembers it all too clearly. She wanted to fix it somehow, but she wasn’t sure how to.

Then the idea pops into her mind. Gulping down the odd feeling of nervousness, she speaks up. “Yeojin, can I hold your hand?”

“Huh?” Yeojin looks at Yerim in shock. “Are you into that?”

“Jesus, no.” Yerim scoffs. “I just wanted to make it up to you. Yesterday, I mean.” Yerim’s voice grows weaker the more she speaks. It was quite embarrassing.

“Oh… it’s… okay.” 

What did Yeojin mean when she said it was okay? The thing yesterday or Yerim holding her hand now? Was it an ‘okay’ yes, or ‘okay’ no? Yerim racked her brain for answers but she just couldn’t figure it out properly.

In the end, she reaches for Yeojin’s hand and holds it.

That’s what she tries, at least. She was so nervous about doing the wrong thing that she snatches it and grasps it hard. Her nails dug Yeojin’s skin and Yeojin yelped in pain.

“Oh, god, I’m sorry!” Yerim panics and lets go, but Yeojin takes her hand back. The way Yeojin does it was so soft and smooth, Yerim begins to wonder how Yeojin seemed to do that.

“Don’t grab people’s hands like a robber would snatch a purse.” Yeojin scolds, and she rolls her eyes at the innocent gaze Yerim gives her. “Just, take it softly. Like this.”

Yerim nods at Yeojin’s words as if Yeojin was the smartest person she’s ever met.

“Also don’t go grabbing my hand next time without telling me.” Yeojin pouts, and Yerim finds herself giving the younger girl a slight smile. “Consent is important, you know?”

Yerim merely nods. Yeojin does the same.

They stay that way for a while, quietly sitting next to each other while holding hands. A part of Yerim is overjoyed, but another part of her was asking whether doing things like this were normal.

She’s seen several movies and some of her classmates do the same. Holding hands should be perfectly normal between friends, isn’t it? Yerim tries to convince herself, but she feels oddly nervous when she’s holding Yeojin’s hand.

_ Is it sweaty? Is my hand cold?  _ Thoughts like these fly through Yerim’s mind and she can’t help but keep quiet over it.

“Are you planning on staying here?” Yerim speaks instead, trying to drown out the nervous feelings that climbed up her throat.

“Yeah.” Yeojin’s answer was short. Yerim only nodded to it. She found herself asking why Yeojin seems to skip so much, but she remembers their conversations yesterday.

Maybe it was connected to how she thinks every place is temporary. Yerim decided not to pry.

“Can I stay with you?” Yerim leans just a little bit closer to Yeojin. She was aware that lunch was about to end soon, but she can’t seem to bring herself to let go of the hand in hers.

“Your grades are gonna suffer, you know?” Yeojin warns. She feels Yerim squeeze her hand ever so slightly.

“Then you shouldn’t skip class too. You’re always here… doesn’t it reflect on your card?” Worry seeps through how Yerim said those words, but Yeojin feels somehow grateful for it.

“It’s fine. I’m leaving soon anyways. Give it, say, a few months. I’d be long gone and off to the other side of the country.” Yeojin says it like she was joking about it, but her tone sounded a bit distant to Yerim’s ears. “Same old, same old. Schools barely look at my grades--or lack thereof.”

Yerim squeezes Yeojin’s hand again. She can’t imagine doing that so often.

Obviously, how Yeojin sees the world is completely different to how Yerim sees the world. Compared to Yeojin, she’s only been in this same town her entire life. She couldn’t even begin to understand what it feels like to keep having to move from town to town. Wouldn’t it be hard to keep up with people? With friends?

Or maybe that was why Yeojin seemed so adamant about not wanting to be friends with Yerim?

Yerim feels like she understood a part of Yeojin more. After all, if what Yeojin was saying ends up to be true, then that would mean Yeojin would leave her too, right?

The thought makes Yerim feel sad.

This doesn’t go unnoticed to Yeojin. She nudges Yerim’s shoulder with her own. “You okay?”

“Huh? What do you mean?” Yerim had asked.

“You look kinda down.”

And there Yeojin was again, making it seem like Yerim was an open book when in fact, she wasn’t. Yerim likes to think that she was more of an  _ empty  _ book than an open one.

But Yeojin made it seem so easy to understand her. Yerim wonders how that worked.

“I just…” Yerim starts speaking, and she hesitates for a bit.  _ Do I tell her I was sad about her possibly moving away? _

“Just?” Yeojin prods her to continue, and Yerim flinches a bit.

“I felt lonely.” Yerim decides to say instead. Yeojin looks confused, and Yerim couldn’t even blame her.

“What? I’m here aren’t I?” Yeojin asks. “Or is this not enough for you?” She lifts their hands up, similar to what Yerim did yesterday.

“That’s not what I mean…”

“You want more?” Yeojin teases, stretching her other arm out to mimic a hug. “Like this? Wow, you’re pretty selfish aren’t you?”

“I’m not selfish… and that’s still not what I meant.” Yerim grumbles, and she turns away from Yeojin to sulk for a bit.

Whoa. Since when did she sulk?

“What is it then?” Yeojin puts her arm down and instead rests her head against Yerim’s shoulder. She feels Yerim tense up but she chooses not to say anything.

“It’s nothing.” Yerim says instead of what she wanted to really say. Yeojin decides that it was best to not ask her about it.

“Well then,” Yeojin looks at the time on her phone. “Lunch is almost done, so if you’re planning on going back to class to get those grades, then it would be best to do it now.”

“Can we go home?”

“You… You want to go home?” Yerim nods at Yeojin’s question. Yeojin only looks at her while her mouth stays agape. “You want  _ us  _ to go home?”

“I said ‘we’, didn’t I?” Yerim smiles a bit, and Yeojin thinks that she likes this smile far better than the ones she gives everyone else.

Was she special, Yeojin wonders, if she was the only one who saw this type of Yerim’s smile? She felt herself grow smug at that.

“Alright.” Yeojin sighs, but a smile stays on her lips. “You’re going to class tomorrow though.”

“Sure. But I won’t go if you don’t stay in class tomorrow too.”

_ God, she’s so infuriating,  _ Yeojin finds herself thinking, but at the same time, that didn’t sound too bad. “Yeah, sure, I’ll do that. Lead the way, Yerim.”

“Okay.”

“Is this gonna be our thing?” Yeojin asks cheekily as she walks hand in hand with Yerim back to Yerim’s house. “Skipping class just to hang out in your place?”

“Doesn’t sound bad, does it?” Yerim muses and she hums. She wasn’t exactly directing the question to Yeojin. It was more like she was just talking to herself.

“Wow, coming from the best student in school?” Yeojin teases. “People see me as a delinquent, but I think you might be a bigger delinquent than I am, huh?”

“Shut up,” Yerim grumbles, and Yeojin can see a faint tinge of pink around Yerim’s cheeks. “Who says I’m the best student…”

“Dude, your name is always on top of the list after tests.” Yeojin deadpans, and Yerim feels like she’s been caught. “And you’re quite popular, and bright, and a teacher’s pet--”

Yerim hits Yeojin’s arm with a small “Hey!”

“You’ve got friends all over campus--”

“I don’t have friends.”

“Huh?” Yeojin blinks as she watches how Yerim looks away. 

“I mean… I don’t see them as friends…” Yerim murmurs, and her voice grows softer and softer with each word she says. “Besides, the only person I can call a friend is you, Yeojin.”

“Right…” Yeojin wasn’t exactly sure why, but she felt like Yerim’s shyness was rubbing off of her. “I mean, I’m only talking about how people see you. These are things they told me when I just transferred in, you know?”

“People talk about me that way?”

“How could they not?” Yeojin grins. “I don’t blame them really, but since you want to be friends, I’d like to see the Yerim underneath all that.”

“The… Yerim underneath all that?” Yerim tilts her head before stopping in the middle of the sidewalk. Yeojin rolls her eyes and drags the older girl along with her, after all, she can already make out their neighborhood in the distance.

“Yep. I refuse to believe the Yerim in school is the same as the Yerim with me right now.”

“Am I that different?”

“You are.” Yeojin nods to herself. “It’s like, night and day? I don’t really know how to explain it.”

“It’s fine, I kind of get it.” Yerim peeks at the sky.  _ Night and day, huh?  _ She was hoping to see the sun but instead she was met with dark clouds. “Let’s pick up the pace, it looks like it’s gonna rain soon.”

“Oh what? Really?” Yeojin looks up and her eyes suddenly spark with alarm. “Dang, you’re right! Let’s go.” Yeojin lets go of Yerim’s hand before giving her a cheeky grin. “Race you there!”

And with that she takes off. Yerim was frozen for a few seconds, seemingly trying to process what had just happened before her feet dragged her body forward. “That’s not fair!”

Yeojin’s laughter was boisterous, and Yerim can’t help but laugh along. She doesn’t mind the way that Yeojin was way ahead of her. When push comes to shove, she  _ is  _ relying on Yeojin to lead the way.

There’s so much she could learn just by staying by Yeojin’s side, and a part of her feels drawn to being next to Yeojin for as long as she could, but the voice inside her head that keeps reminding her that Yeojin was temporary. 

If Yeojin thought of their school and her house as temporary, then Yerim thinks of her that way too. How could she make the most of her time when she feels the crippling thoughts at the back of her mind tell her things like this? That Yeojin only sees her as another temporary person in a temporary town.

God, the thought scares Yerim to no ends.

Even now, as Yeojin pokes her tongue out when she reaches the black gate first, Yerim feels unbelievably upset. How does Yeojin even feel knowing that everything she sees will change?

_ But isn’t that how life is?  _ Yerim suddenly asks herself.  _ People come and go, along with everything and everyone changing around me.  _

In a sense, Yeojin was right. Everything really  _ was  _ temporary. And although usually Yerim would be fine with the concept of nothing really staying, when she thinks of Yeojin leaving, it gives her a feeling of uneasiness.

It’s only been a few days since she met Yeojin, but something about her kept luring Yerim in.

_ Just like a moth drawn to a flame.  _ Yerim smiles to herself.  _ That’s terrifying. _

Following that analogy, Yerim also wonders whether she was putting anything at risk if she spends more time with Yeojin. It’s a school day and they were skipping class just to do nothing at home. Obviously, Yeojin was doing more harm than good.

But is that really it? Or was Yerim just used to the repetitive, rule-bounded lifestyle she had for herself. 

Then she remembers just exactly why she felt like she was being pulled along by Yeojin.

Yeojin had been the first person to approach her differently from the rest. She had called Yerim out on the facade she had put on for herself, and she had abruptly broken down the tower Yerim spent years on building, just like a bulldozer.

Thinking about it that way, Yerim figures that Yeojin  _ isn’t  _ a bad influence.

“What took you so long?” Yeojin had her chest puffed out. “I can’t believe the one thing you’re bad at is sports.” She wore a proud smirk on her face, and Yerim had this weird urge to wipe it off.

“I was going easy on you. Of course I wouldn’t go all-out on a child like you.” Yeojin’s jaw drops at Yerim’s words, and Yerim could only hear her mind go “Success!”

“How dare you call me a child!” Yeojin starts pouting, but if Yerim were to be honest, it only made her look younger than she already is. Yerim shakes her head with a fond smile before pushing the gate open and entering her home.

She hears Yeojin grumble a bit behind her, and she couldn’t help but giggle to herself. Yeojin complains about her finding it funny, but Yerim only brushes it off.

“What are we doing today anyways?” Yeojin asks, and Yerim wasn’t sure if Yeojin’s just  _ that  _ comfortable, but the younger girl leans back on the couch and puts her feet up on the coffee table. “Like, did you plan this out?”

“Oh.” Yerim takes a seat beside her while she hums to herself. “Do you have to plan things out when you go out with friends?”

“Uh, I don’t know. Maybe?” Yeojin chuckles before her eyes land on the clear cabinet next to the TV.

It was lined with things Yeojin can only assume were cassette tapes. She squinted to try to see it clearer. 

Yerim catches her gaze and looks at the cabinet too. “Does that interest you?”

“Yeah… what is it?” Yeojin asks, and she looks back to check Yerim’s face. 

“Cassette tapes, I think that’s what they’re called.” Yerim answers. “I’m not entirely sure. Those were my dad’s.”

“Were?” Yeojin inquires. “Like, is your dad dead or something?”

“Maybe? I don’t know.” Yerim stands and walks over to it. She opens it and pulls out one of the cassette tapes she used to see her dad play.

“So, he left?” Yeojin asks. Yerim only nods. She watches Yerim pull out a dusty cassette player.

“I don’t know if it works, but do you want to listen to some songs with me?” Yerim offers with a small smile.

Looking at her, Yeojin can’t tell whether Yerim looked hurt, or she was just reminiscent, or if she was just  _ okay.  _ She decided not to think too much about it.

“Sure…”

Yerim’s smile brightens, and she walks (maybe waddles, now that Yeojin thinks about it) back to where Yeojin was. Yeojin straightens her back and pats the spot next to her, urging Yerim to sit down.

Yeojin wasn’t sure where Yerim pulled the pencil out, but it was now in one of the holes on the cassette tape, and she was casually turning it. Yeojin thinks that it had something to do with, well, the tape.

She pops the tape in the player and hopes for the best. Thankfully it seemed to work. She plugs in the earphones and offers one to Yeojin.

Yeojin gladly accepts.

She couldn’t explain what it sounded like. It definitely sounded  _ old _ , Yeojin thinks, but it didn’t sound too far off from what she expected. Yeojin never heard the song before though, so she nudges Yerim.

Yerim rest her head against the backrest of the couch. Her eyes were closed and she had a peaceful expression on her face.

“Hey, what’s this song called?” Yeojin’s voice was soft, almost as if she didn’t want to disturb Yerim.

“Oh, it’s called ‘How Deep is Your Love’. It was pretty popular, I think.” Yerim replies, but she remains unmoving. Yeojin nods even though Yerim couldn’t see her.

“It sounds nice.” Yeojin sees Yerim nod in the corner of her eyes. Yeojin didn’t really understand most of the lyrics, but she had a feeling it was pretty romantic.

“Dad used to play this song a lot whenever Mom was home.” Yerim smiles at the memory. She feels Yeojin’s hand touch hers, and Yerim takes it and holds it. She needed the extra strength.

She really didn’t like reminiscing anything from the past. “That’s sweet…” It was the only thing Yeojin could say. She wasn’t sure what to tell Yerim. Instead, she keeps quiet.

“Yeah, I guess. They used to dance around here while it plays.” Yerim sees Sunday mornings with her dad laughing as he spun her mom around. She sees coffee mugs on the table, the broom lying on the floor, and she sees the tapes stacked on the same coffee table they had now.

Yerim hears her mom scold her dad, saying “I need to clean!”, but she ends up laughing anyways. Yerim hears her dad singing the words, as if he had memorized the entire song by heart, and she hears her mom singing along too.

She could almost feel her dad pull her in with them, and it’s a mess of giggles and awkward dance moves, and if she could choose, Yerim would want to relive those moments again.

“Yerim?” Yeojin’s voice brings Yerim back to reality. “What’s wrong? Are you okay?”

“What?” Yerim asks, and she is genuinely confused at the look of worry etched on Yeojin’s face.

Yeojin brings her hand up and rubs her thumb across Yerim’s cheek. That’s when Yerim finally feels the tears running down her face. “It’s okay.” Yeojin whispers, and she wipes away more of the tears that somehow keep falling down Yerim’s face. “I’m here now…”

“I-I’m sorry, I shouldn’t be crying like this--”

“Don’t say sorry.” Yerim wasn’t used to such a serious look on Yeojin’s face. She feels Yeojin’s thumb wipe her cheeks.

“I…” Yerim lets out a strangled sob. “I haven’t--I haven’t cried like this in so long…” She barely makes out the nod Yeojin does because her vision was blurry from the tears in her eyes. “I just, I remembered so much when I didn’t want to--”

“We didn’t have to listen to the songs, you know?” Yeojin gives her a warm smile. “I would have been perfectly content just sitting here doing nothing.” She takes out a handkerchief and hands it to Yerim. Yerim takes it and wipes the tears herself.

“Wanna tell me about it?” Yeojin smiles reassuringly, and Yerim feels the urge to spill everything but she thinks about it carefully.

She had just met Yeojin, but why does she feel like she can tell her everything? Her parents make for a touchy subject for Yerim, and she had buried it so deep within her that a part of her sometimes forgets these old memories ever truly existed.

To her, a happy family like in her memories feels like a distant dream. One she could never have  _ now  _ no matter how much she reached for it.

“It’s not much, really,” Yerim says instead, and she watches carefully as Yeojin furrows her eyebrows. “I just remembered, well, dad.”

“Oh…” Yeojin wasn’t good with this comforting thing, but she’s aware that bottling things never really end well. “How long has it been… since he left?”

“I think ten years?” Yerim plays with the wire of the earphones. The song stopped playing a while ago, and the earphones were now on top of Yerim’s lap with the player. “Yeah. He left after mom’s birthday. Gone with all the pictures and his clothes and everything. The only thing he left behind were these tapes, and, well he left me.”

Yeojin couldn’t help but feel horrible. She knew that if it was here in Yerim’s shoes, she wouldn’t be able to know what to do. A part of her is amazed at how long Yerim has gone on with her day as if she never carried this burden on her shoulders.

She thinks about the cheerful Yerim that everyone sees in school, and then she sees this vulnerable Yerim before her, choking on her own tears. Yeojin hates herself for misjudging Yerim.

“It’s like he was never there.” Yerim breathes out. Her exhales were shaky and she brought her unoccupied hand up to her forehead. “Sometimes I wonder if he really was real. But these cassettes remind me that he was here.”

“And you kept this to yourself all this time?” Yeojin wanted to cry for Yerim. “You kept quiet about all this, because, why?”

“It’s not anyone’s obligation to listen to my problems and to fix them for me.” Yerim’s voice had suddenly sounded steady. “Everyone’s entitled to their own problems. I’m well aware of that.”

“Talking still helps, you know?”

Yerim hears it, and she’s reminded of the times people thank her for just listening to them. Yerim wishes she could do the same as them. She wishes she could just talk.

“But I talked to you about it now, right?” Yerim gives Yeojin’s hand a small squeeze. “Isn’t that more than enough?”

“I-I guess so…” Yeojin’s eyes shake, and she looks at anywhere but the charming smile playing around Yerim’s lips. 

_ Since when did Yerim… glow?  _ Yeojin shakes her head.

“Do you want something to eat?” Yeojin asks in an attempt to change the topic. “I can make it for you…”

“I just wanna sleep right now, if that’s okay.” Yerim replies, and a content sigh escapes her lips as she leans back against the couch. “I mean, if you’re hungry, we can order some takeout.”

“That sounds nice, actually, but I don't have much money on me.” Yeojin mutters to herself, thinking about the little money she had in her wallet.

“I can pay. Mom gives me money for takeout a lot.” Yerim pulls her hand away from Yeojin to reach for the phone in her pocket. “Is there any food you’d want?”

“Wait, I can’t let you pay though…”

“It’s fine. Consider it a thanks for letting me yap to you about my problems.” Yerim turns the screen on and searches for restaurants that offer deliveries. “You want some Japanese food?”

“Katsudon?” Yeojin asks. Yerim nods and taps away on her screen.

“I scheduled it for two hours later ‘cause I’m not that hungry yet. Is that okay with you?” Yerim asks, and Yeojin merely nods. “Cool. Wanna nap with me?”

“Huh? Nap with you?” Yeojin tilts her head.  _ What does that mean? _

“Do you wanna sleep with me?” Yerim says it like a statement instead of a question. It left Yeojin feeling baffled.

“Where?”

“In my room? As much as I love this couch, it’s uncomfortable to sleep in.” Yerim scrunches her nose up. “I don’t know how you managed yesterday.”

“It wasn’t uncomfortable, it was actually very nice.” Yeojin corrects Yerim, but Yerim only shakes her head.

“Anyways, I’m sleeping in my room so if you want to join me, I can lay out the futon that mom got for guests.” Yerim scratches her cheek and looks away. “Well, she got it for guests but I never really had anyone over. And neither did she.”

“Is this just an excuse for you to finally put the futon to use?” Yeojin smirks, and Yerim can’t help but roll her eyes.

“Yeah, sure, let’s go with that.” Yerim stands and leaves to get the futon in her mom’s room. Her voice grows distant, but she calls out to Yeojin. “Is it Friday tomorrow?”

“I think so.” Yeojin answers back. “Can I change into something else?”   
  


“You’re leaving for a while?” Yerim hollers. Yeojin nods before she remembers that Yerim couldn’t see her.

“Yeah, I’ll just change out of my uniform then I’ll be right back.”

“I’ll do the same then.”

“Okay, see you later!” Yeojin hears Yerim say a small ‘Okay’ before she heads out.

* * *

“So we nap for like, two hours?” Yeojin asks. By now she was already completely under the futon. She noticed that the sound of the rain was louder in Yerim’s room than it was in the living room.

“Yeah, sounds about right--” A yawn escapes Yerim’s lips as she stretches. “I’ve been waiting for this.”

“A nap?” Yeojin laughs. “Don’t you get enough sleep?”

“I do, I just, really like sleeping.”

  
“Weirdo.” Yeojin says it lightheartedly, but then she feels something hit her face, and that’s when she realizes that Yerim threw a pillow towards her. “Hey!”

“Serves you right for calling me a weirdo.” Yerim smirks to herself. She adjusts the pillow behind her head and closes her eyes. She hears shuffling from Yeojin, and her guts tell her something was going to happen, but she chooses to ignore it.

Well, what can Yeojin do?

Then she feels a small pinch from her sides, and she yelps in both surprise and pain. “What was that for?” She exclaims, and Yeojin lets out a boisterous laugh.

“Payback--” And then Yeojin starts full on tickling her. Yerim squirms and laughs, begging Yeojin to stop, but the younger girl doesn’t.

It continues until Yerim is a wheezing mess, and until Yeojin feels tired. 

“S-Stop…” Yerim pants, and her face was burning red. “E-Enough--”

“I’m done it’s fine--” Yeojin laughs, but she does feel exhausted. She leans her head on the mattress while her knees are planted on the futon.

“You’re… You’re the weirdo for tickling me all of a sudden.” Yerim teases, and her breaths are still a bit short. “I bring you to my room and you  _ touch _ me? What are you, a pervert?”

“Screw you!” Yeojin laughs. She lightly nudges Yerim’s sides. “I’m not a pervert, why would you say that?”

“Huh?”

“What?”

Then they’re silent, and their breaths are the only things they hear along with the rain pouring outside the window.

“L-Let’s get some sleep, shall we?” Yerim stammers , and she tries to avoid Yeojin’s piercing gaze.

_ What the hell? _

“Yeah. I mean, that’s why we’re here, right? Aha.” Yeojin’s laugh was forced and awkward. She crawls back into the futon. “Do I say good night?”

“I think? It’s not night though…” Yerim stares at the ceiling. What was up with her?

“It doesn’t feel right to say ‘Good afternoon’ though…” Yeojin muses. “Well, whatever. Night, Yerim.”

“Yeah. Good night.”

Yerim double checks her phone to check if she set an alarm correctly so they don’t accidentally sleep through the delivery. Once she confirms it, she closes her eyes.

Neither of them speak. The room is filled with the soft pitter patter of the rain against the roof. Soon enough, the rain lulls them to sleep.

Yeojin thinks Yerim’s room felt more comfortable than her own room. Was she getting too used to someone else’s home?

Yeojin wonders if it was the home or if it was Yerim’s company. She imagined herself falling asleep in her house with Yerim there, and for some reason, it felt okay.

Yeojin brushes the thought off and wills herself to sleep.  _ Don’t get too attached,  _ she scolds herself.  _ You won’t stay here, remember? Yerim’s temporary. _

It shouldn’t have hurt when she said it to herself but it did. Yeojin feels her chest ache just a little bit.

_ I just want to get closer to someone without having to leave… _

Those were the last words Yeojin thinks about before she drifts off to sleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am not used to multi-chaptered fics, however i am enjoying writing this, and isn't that all that matters?  
> Thank you for all your heartwarming comments! It makes me glad that people enjoy the things I write! Please don't be shy to leave some more, it encourages me to do better! Have a great day! (Drink water and straighten your back, i love you!)


	5. Bonds

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Yerim gets to see what real friendship looks like. Now she's wondering if she'll ever truly achieve that.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This took so long to make but I'm satisfied. Enjoy!

Yerim keeps her chin propped against her palm. She looks blankly at the board in front of her. The sound of the chalk scratching the surface of the green board faintly reaches Yerim’s ears, but the sound seemed too far away to register properly in her mind.

Her eyes were unfocused and blurry, and the teacher’s movements were the only things she could make out properly with her poor eyesight.

Around her, students were just like her—spacing out as they waited for the final bell to ring.

_ It didn’t help that it’s a Friday _ , Yerim thinks. Students are always excited for the weekend.

Yerim wasn’t entirely sure what was exciting about the weekends. For her, it was just more time to be lonely at home. If she gets lucky, she might see her mother for a second before she goes on to work again.

She didn’t blame her mother much. She thinks it’s cool that her mom was very career-driven. The only downside to it was that she didn’t get to see her own mother attend any school event growing up.

It all comes down to Yerim’s dad, really. He was the reason that her mother was acting this way.

Yerim’s mind stayed blank. She  _ wills  _ herself to keep it blank. She didn’t want to think about anything, but no matter how much she tried, her mind kept drifting away from the present.

Her mind drifts to a certain underclassman she’s been seeing a lot lately.

Yeojin kept her promise. She started to attend her classes more often, which put Yerim’s mind at ease. Soon enough, however, they stopped skipping class together. 

Yerim feels antsy when she thinks about the fact that she doesn’t have a proper connection to Yeojin besides the times they skipped class together. Was that a healthy friendship?

And, well, since they stopped skipping their classes together, Yerim has been feeling a bit lonely the past two weeks.

_ Two weeks since the last time, huh?  _ Yerim has thought about visiting Yeojin’s home multiple times, or to at least look for her in the second year classrooms, but she can’t help but hold back. What right did she have to barge in the younger girl’s life?

There was a part of Yerim that was telling her that Yeojin was just putting up with her. After all, she  _ was  _ the one who asked the younger girl for company.

Yerim was the one who proclaimed that they were friends. She was the one who insisted for them to be friends. Did she ever stop to think about what Yeojin might feel about it? Well, now she is.

But even after all that, two weeks have gone by and they haven’t seen each other once. Was it normal to feel this fidgety over it?  _ Well, it should be fine, right?  _ Yerim asks herself.  _ Friends don’t have to see each other all the time. _

To Yerim, however, she felt like she was just wasting time. She finally meets someone who could put up with her, but she can’t help but keep remembering the fact that Yeojin was bound to leave for another town.

There, Yeojin will meet new people, see new sceneries, go to a new school and so on and so forth. Yerim felt so tiny compared to what was normal for Yeojin. It was a sad routine.

Thus, Yerim is once again reminded of how troublesome it is to form relationships and bonds with people.

After all, the blood relation between Yerim’s father and Yerim did nothing when he left. Just like that, he managed to sever the bond they were supposed to have as father and daughter. It was as if he was never there to begin with.

_ So much for blood is thicker than water.  _ Yerim scrunches her nose. She vaguely hears the bell ring in the distance, and she feels the floor vibrate from the chairs being pushed around by her classmates. She hears them chatter around her, a few laughs and plans to go out and the like.

They were all prepared to leave, but Yerim wanted to stay for a little while. She wanted to stay quiet to herself for some time.

One by one, the students leave, until she’s just left with one other person.

“Yerim, can we go home together?” Yerim peeks up from her seat to look at the person calling for her. She squints a bit, trying to remember who exactly was talking to her.

The girl was tall. Yerim estimates that they were probably around the same height. She looks at the almost black hair cascading down the girl’s shoulders, and she can’t help but compare it to the blonde she grew accustomed to.

Then she remembers that this girl was  _ waiting  _ for a response. She blinks a few times, the girl’s name at the tip of her tongue. The girl leans against her desk and taps her heels together.

The school’s blouse, which was usually buttoned up until the very last button, looked like it was fitted loosely on the girl. She had unbuttoned the first two buttons and untied her ribbon. Yerim found herself fascinated by it. Did it feel breezier?

“Hyejoo… right?” Yerim asks. The girl, Hyejoo, gives her a quizzical look before finally nodding. “Sure. Let me just fix my stuff up.”

“No, take your time.” Hyejoo gives her a small, reassuring smile. Yerim only nods. She drags the seat by her body, pushing it back.

It screeches as the legs scrape the floor. The noise was a bit gritty and high-pitched. Yerim sees Hyejoo wince a bit, before laughing. Yerim laughs with her, but in a softer tone. She grabs her notebooks and pens and shoves them haphazardly inside her bag.

Outside their classroom, Yerim sees another person waiting for them. “Who’s that?” She gestures towards the doorway.

“Oh that’s my friend. She walks home with me too.” Hyejoo stretches her neck and makes eye contact with the girl outside. “Come here,” she beckons her.

Yerim recognizes the girl from the council, and if her memory serves her right, the girl’s name was Chaewon.

The more she thinks about it, the more she realizes that she sees Hyejoo and Chaewon together a lot. How long have they known each other, she wonders, and why is it that they seem to never get tired of each other’s presence? Was that a normal thing when you’re friends with someone?

She thinks about their relationship before thinking about her relationship with Yeojin. Would they ever reach that type of friendship? Where, they seem like they’re attached to the hip? Yerim knows it’s a stretch, after all, Yeojin was going to leave soon anyways. 

But how soon was that? Yerim didn’t know.

She didn’t want to know.

_ That’s depressing.  _ Yerim thinks to herself out of spite.  _ Who gives her the right to leave anyways? _

She knows it’s not as though Yeojin can decide on that, after all, the younger girl had explained that it was because of her parent’s occupations. Yerim wanted to talk to Yeojin’s parents and beg them to change their professions, but it seemed too selfish on her part.

“I’m done, shall we go?” Yerim offers as she swings her bag over her shoulder. Chaewon gives her a small smile before nodding.

“This is the first time we’ve hung out with each other outside of the council, right?” Chaewon asks. Yerim never paid attention to how the other girl sounded, but now that she’s listening to Chaewon properly without her head floating off to space, she can’t help but think it sounded small.

_ Like a squeaky toy? Just kidding.  _ Yerim holds back a giggle at the thought. She didn’t want to offend the girl.

“Yeah, I guess so,” She replies instead to answer Chaewon’s question. “I hope you and Hyejoo don’t mind me intruding like this, you guys seem close.”

Hyejoo waves Yerim off, as if to say  _ it’s no big deal.  _

“How long have you two been friends, anyways?” Yerim finds herself asking, her curiosity getting the better of her.

“Her mom and my mom are friends from college.” Chaewon replies. She seemed energetic. Yerim kind of sees Yeojin in her. Just a bit.

“So like, family friends?” Yerim muses. Chaewon gives her an energetic nod along with a little  _ humph _ . “Must be nice.”

“Aren’t you quite popular though? Surely you must have friends around campus?” Hyejoo genuinely asks.

Their surroundings gradually change from trees wrapping the area to bushes confined in sidewalks. Yerim hums as if to think about Hyejoo’s question properly.

“Oh, but nothing like your friendship with Chaewon.”  _ Technically, I’m not lying.  _ “I have friends here and there.”

“I get it,” Chaewon perks up as she skips a few steps ahead of Hyejoo and Yerim. Her black hair bounces along with her steps, and Yerim catches a glimpse of Hyejoo rolling her eyes. “You mean, since you’re so popular, no one actually dares to be friends with you?”   
  


“I don’t think that’s what she meant.” Hyejoo pipes up, successfully rebutting Chaewon’s statement. “That also, kinda sounds insensitive. Sorry, Yerim.” Hyejoo gives Yerim an apologetic smile. Yerim chuckles at how panicked Hyejoo looked.

“No, I don’t mind. I actually think that what she said was pretty accurate.” Yerim smiles. She looks away from them for a second, only to find that their feet have brought them pretty far away from their school. They were getting further and further away from Yerim’s neighborhood.

“Oh yeah, do you live around here?” Hyejoo asks Yerim, as if noticing the look in Yerim’s eyes.

“I live near the school.”

“Ah. We’re close to town now though… Sorry.” Hyejoo apologizes again, and Yerim only shrugs it off.

“I mean, I have time. We can do something before I go home.” Yerim reassures them.

Chaewon jumps up and down before pointing towards a bookstore. “Can we go there?” Her voice sounded significantly louder than when they were inside their campus. Yerim deduces that Chaewon is probably a fan of books.

Hyejoo glances towards Yerim, as if to ask her if she was okay with it. Yerim only nods.

In an instant, a squeal escapes Chaewon’s lips as she drags Hyejoo and Yerim with her inside the bookstore.

The interior of the place seemed kind of run-down. It was exactly what one would expect to find in the countryside. Yerim thought that it was fueling the stereotype that the countryside has no modernized buildings, but when she makes eye contact with the elderly couple behind the counter, she figures out why it looked so old.

Nevertheless, the inside of the bookstore was pretty spacious. From the outside, it looked like it was too small, but being inside the store proved Yerim otherwise. There were around ten aisles lined up with books of every genre, separated by spaces that could probably only fit a few people at a time.

Yerim shrugs off her blazer slightly. The air inside the bookstore was thick and heavy compared to the cool wind outside. Yerim looked around to check if there were any open windows.

What she found, though, was that the only source of ventilation inside of the bookstore was a small electric fan on top of a stack of books by the counter.  _ It’s trying to do its job, at least. _

“Hyejoo, what are you doing? The latest release of  _ Horimiya  _ is out!” Chaewon excitedly hops around. She almost topples a stack of books and magazines down before Hyejoo asks her to stay still.

_ “Horimiya? _ ” Yerim wonders out loud. “What’s that?”

Yerim didn’t catch the  _ please-don’t-ask  _ look Hyejoo sent her way, because now, Chaewon dramatically drops her grip on Hyejoo’s arm while she over exaggerates a gasp before marching towards Yerim.

Her feet pitter-patters around the wooden floor. Yerim holds back a laugh.

“It’s only  _ the best  _ romance manga you’ll ever read!” Chaewon furrows her eyebrows. Her hand frantically waves around in front of a  _ Horimiya  _ book in her other hand. She inhales deeply before starting to ramble.

“I’ve been following it ever since it was released and I’m not one for romance mangas because I think romance is tacky, but it ended up to be one of my favorites. I usually read fantasy stuff because why would you read reality stuff when we’re  _ living in reality? _ Anyways, I also think that out of all of the men in the fictional universe that focuses on romance, Miyamura is the only guy who has RIGHTS because honestly, in this kind of world where men are always—”

A small yelp escapes Chaewon’s lips in the middle of her rant.

Hyejoo pulls Chaewon away from Yerim. “Calm down, you weeb.” Well, more like she yanked her away from Yerim. Yerim hears a grumble from Chaewon. “Yerim isn't going anywhere. You can tell her about  _ Horimiya _ later.”

“You’re right, I forgot.” Chaewon smiles sheepishly while she rubs the back of her neck. “Sorry about that. I got too carried away again, huh?”

“It’s fine, I think it’s… interesting.” Yerim mutters the last word to herself.

“I can lend you volume one, if you want?” Chaewon offers. “If you like it, then I’ll lend you the rest!”

“Okay, I’ll take you up on that offer.”

“You don’t have to please her,” Hyejoo rolls her eyes. “Are you sure?”

“Yeah, I was looking for something to read, anyways.” Yerim grins.

To Yerim, romance was leagues away from her mind. It seemed too much of a fantasy to Yerim. After all, she was already struggling with making friends. Why should she even bother with love and romance? Romance was a terrifying concept.

_ What would mom say, if I even get a boyfriend?  _ Yerim thinks about it for a second.  _ I mean, she wouldn’t mind, right? She isn’t home most of the time… _

But she shakes her head.  _ Not the thing I should be thinking about. _

Before she knew it, Chaewon had already made her purchase much to Hyejoo’s chagrin. Yerim lags behind the two, watching as Hyejoo scolds Chaewon about her spending too much while Chaewon attempts to console Hyejoo by offering her the first volume of  _ Horimiya _ .

The sun starts setting, and Yerim stands behind the shadows of Chaewon and Hyejoo. That’s when it hits her.

_ Ah, I want something like this. _

She doesn’t have anything against Hyejoo or Chaewon, but the way they were acting so close irked Yerim. She felt jealous. And that thought made her feel guilty.

Bonds. Human relations. All of which she never truly understood. 

Would Hyejoo and Chaewon be considered family with the way they knew each other from childhood? Would it be the same as Yerim’s bond with her mother? Or was their relationship different? Like a platonic soulmate or someone who you can always rely on when you’re down?

Yerim thinks about her relationship with her mother.  _ Can I rely on her when I’m down? Absolutely not. And dad… _

They start walking down the sidewalk, and Hyejoo cracks a few jokes to make Yerim feel included, which she truly appreciated.

The town was always a weird place for Yerim. Compared to her neighborhood, the streets were bustling with car engines and people minding their own businesses. She wonders if it’s like this in big cities, or if it was noisier or worse.

The more they walk, the more distance Yerim feels between her and the duo in front of her. No matter how much Hyejoo tried to talk to her, she can’t help but notice the obvious rupture between them.

Chaewon and Hyejoo are  _ best friends.  _ Something that Yerim herself can’t reach.

Just as she was about to slip away and go home by herself, knowing well that Hyejoo and Chaewon probably won’t notice, she looks into someone else’s eyes.

Someone that she’s known well the past few days.

_ Yeojin… _

Yeojin has a plastic straw hanging from her mouth while the chocolate drink is in her hand. She was sitting casually on top of the railings that people are supposed to use to assist them as they walk. A bike was leaning on the railings next to her.

They stare at each other for a while. What was there to say?

Time stilled around them. For a moment, Yerim forgot who she was truly with. Yeojin looked like she wasn’t going to say a word.

Yerim hears Chaewon call her name, but Chaewon’s voice never reaches Yerim's ears. To Yerim, it sounded muffled.

Yeojin opens her mouth to speak.

Yerim makes a split-second decision to act as if she never saw Yeojin.

She walks forward, turning her head away from the younger girl and catching up with Hyejoo and Chaewon.

She didn’t hear Yeojin call out to her, anyways. 

“Someone you know?” Chaewon asks, a crepe in her hands. Hyejoo steals a bite from it, which earns her a small swat from Chaewon.

“Nope.” Yerim shakes her head. She feels Yeojin’s gaze burn the back of her neck.

“Oh. She’s wearing our uniform though. Do you think she’s in our grade, Hye?” Chaewon stretches her hand towards Hyejoo. Hyejoo takes a small bite.

“I think she looks young?” Hyejoo’s words were muffled because of the food inside her mouth. “Maybe someone in the lower year?”

“Yeah. Maybe.” Yerim says. Her gaze drops to the ground beneath them. The further she gets away from Yeojin, the more her legs scream to run back.

“Doesn’t she get in trouble? I mean, her hair’s  _ bleached. _ ” Chaewon stresses the word bleached. Hyejoo gives her a pointed look. “What? I’ve always wanted to go blonde.”

“Don’t do it. You’re gonna give your mom a heart attack.” Hyejoo warns, and Chaewon backs away while she laughs. A cheeky grin stays on Chaewon’s lips.

“I won’t.” Chaewon skips ahead, balancing the crepe in her hand to make sure its contents don’t fall out. Hyejoo breathes a sigh of relief. “Maybe.”

“What do you mean maybe?” Hyejoo yells, but Chaewon was already too far ahead. “Chaewon!”

Hyejoo was about to sprint, before she remembered that Yerim was with her. The station was up ahead. “Uh, it was nice spending time with you, Yerim.” Hyejoo politely mutters. “We have to go now…”

“Oh no, thank you for bringing me with you.” Yerim gives Hyejoo a smile. “It was fun.”

“We can do this more often, if you want.” Hyejoo offers. Yerim merely nods. “Great. See you tomorrow, Yerim!”

“It’s a Saturday tomorrow.”

“Right. See you on Monday, then!” And with that, Hyejoo runs off to where Chaewon headed. Yerim was left alone with her thoughts.

She stares at the pair of bestfriends bickering up ahead until they disappear from Yerim’s sight. Yerim heaves a sigh.

She feels her heart pound as she takes in her surroundings. Yerim didn’t visit the station often because she didn’t have a need to. She doesn’t really go places.

She walks around the heart of the town aimlessly, kicking pebbles off the sidewalks before she realizes something.

_ Oh god.  _

_ I just ignored Yeojin, didn’t I?  _ Yerim blinks slowly before breaking into a run.

Yerim sprints back to where she last saw Yeojin. It was the railings in front of a convenience store. She hopes that Yeojin hasn’t left yet.

It takes her three minutes to run back to the outside of the convenience store. Yeojin was nowhere to be found, but her bike was still there.

Yerim swallows a lump in her throat. To her, it felt dry. She was thinking of entering the convenience store to buy a bottle of water.

But she hears the bell of the convenience store chime, along with the swinging of the door. Yeojin steps out of the store. Her head was held up high while Yerim barely breathes.

“Y-Yeojin!” Yerim pants. She bends over with her hands on top of her knees as she tries to catch her breath. She tries her best to not topple over. Fitness isn’t really one of her strong suits.

Yeojin was facing away from her. She was holding onto her bike, steadying it and making sure it doesn’t topple over.

“Yeojin,” a breath escapes Yerim’s lips. “Wait for me.”

Yeojin looks over her shoulder to give Yerim the coldest glare she could muster. Chills ran down Yerim’s spine the moment their eyes met each other. “I’m sorry,  _ who are you?” _

“Look, I’m sorry.” Yerim jogs closer to Yeojin until they’re two feet apart.

“Sorry about what?”

“For ignoring you earlier.” Yerim explains. She tilts her head up and rests it that way, watching as the orange spills around the blue sky. “I didn’t know how to act.”

“So you told your  _ friends  _ that you didn’t know me?” Yeojin scoffs. “Weren’t you the one who said you wanted to be friends with me?”

“I know, I know. I’m sorry.”

“Is that all you have to say?” Yeojin leans her bike against the railings before leaning against the railings herself.

“Forgive me?” Yerim pouts.

Yeojin fights the urge to roll her eyes. “What if I don’t want to? After all, it’s the first time we see each other in two weeks and the first thing you do is upset me?”

“I’ll do anything?” The way Yerim said it made it seem more like a question instead of a plea. “Like,” Yerim looks around, and her eyes catch the convenience store’s sign. “I’ll buy you a snack.”

“I don’t want that.”

“What do you want then?”

If Yerim’s pride would allow her, Yerim thinks that she probably would have been on her knees. A part of her knows that Yeojin is just messing around by now, but the other part of her wants to let Yeojin know that she’s being  _ genuine. _

“Can you cook?” Yeojin gives Yerim a teasing smirk. “Can you cook me my dinner?”

“Don’t you have food at home?” Yerim complains. Yeojin shrugs before turning away and taking her bike with you. “NO! No, no, no, no, I’m kidding,” an awkward chuckle leaves Yerim’s lips.

“Thought so. Cook me something, and also, you’re the one biking home.”

“What? How is that fair?”

“Do you want me to forgive you or not?”

“Sorry, sorry.” Yerim moves to take the bike from Yeojin’s hands. She rides it before gesturing to Yeojin to stand behind her. “Isn’t this illegal?”

“I think it’s against our school’s policy. We’re not in front of the school right now, so…”

“I get it. Hold on to me then.” Yerim feels Yeojin’s hands hold onto her shoulders as Yeojin steadies herself behind Yerim.

Yerim struggles for a few seconds before getting used to both their weights. She bikes through town with Yeojin standing behind her. The bike barely wobbles under their weights, which sent a rush of relief through Yerim.

“You know the way home, right?” Yeojin yells along with the wind and the sounds of the cars rushing past them.

Yerim tilts her head up to stare at Yeojin. It makes Yeojin feel nervous. “Of course I do.”

“Look at the road.”

“No, the sky looks pretty.”

When those words left Yerim’s lips, Yeojin looked up at the sky. There was almost no sun left. The sky was looking like a mixture of purple, pink, and blue on a messy canvas. The streetlights were all turning themselves on one by one, and the stars started to peek out from the little clouds that were present.

Yeojin snaps out of her mesmerisation when the bike shakes a bit. She looks down to see Yerim still looking up with her.

“Yerim! Look at the road!” She slaps Yerim’s shoulders. A laugh escapes Yerim’s lips before she reaches up to rub the spot Yeojin slapped.

“Ouch! Fine.”

Finally, Yeojin feels her heart calm down. Yerim tilts her head back down to focus on biking, and Yeojin looks ahead to make sure she remembers the path.

The only reason she asked Yerim to bike was because she got lost in town trying to find her way back home. Of course, she would never tell Yerim that.

“Do you think I can go faster than this?” Yerim asks.

“Don’t you dare—”

Yeojin’s words get cut off because soon they’re speeding through the roads and alleyways. Yeojin thinks that maybe Yerim’s legs were made out of metal because she’s fairly certain that they’re catching up to the cars beside them.

“Yerim, stop being so reckless!”

“I barely use the bike though! Let me have fun—” Yerim turns right, and finally, they’re out of town. 

Yeojin can finally make out the familiar surroundings but only barely. Her sight was cloudy from how worried she was for their safety.

Nevertheless, she sees the familiar streetlight that always flickers at night because electricians never really fixed it. She sees the old gates of their school. She sees the trees that obscure the view on the other side. She sees the familiar pavements to their homes.

And soon enough, she sees Yerim’s house. Yerim slows down before stopping the bike fully, using her right leg to support the bike while she waits for Yeojin to hop out.

“I’m never letting you man the bike again.” Yeojin grumbled as she pats her skirt down. “You’re terrifying.”

“I got too carried away, sorry.” Yerim scratches her cheek. “The last time I went that fast was with dad.”

“Oh. I see.”

“Yeah.” An awkward silence envelopes them before Yerim speaks up again. “So, let’s get in, shall we?”

Yeojin thinks that Yerim’s house was still the same from the last time she visited. The coffee table was still as empty as ever, save for the cassette tape that Yeojin assumes Yerim still listened to even after she left. The walls still had no pictures up or posters to decorate the interior, and the house was still abnormally clean and neat.

“Sit, I’ll figure out a way to cook something for you.”

“That sentence scares me,” Yeojin teases. “But I’ll trust you.”

“Yeah, I’m a grown up. The internet has my back.” Yerim pokes her tongue out before giving Yeojin a huge smile. “I’ll be right back.”

“Take your time.” Yeojin laughs. “Hey, can I play some music from the tapes? I wanna listen to more songs.”

“Yeah, go ahead!” Yerim hollers from the kitchen.

Yeojin picks a random tape and pops it in the player, checking to make sure that it’s plugged in to the speakers next to the cabinet. A familiar tune plays and tickles Yeojin’s ears. She turns the dial up to make it louder, and soon she’s bobbing her head along to Here Comes the Sun by The Beatles.

She makes her way to the kitchen, dancing funnily. “Here comes the sun, do do do do—”

“What are you doing?”

“Here comes the sun,” Yeojin hums the rest of the chorus because she wasn’t really sure of the lyrics.

“Why are you playing that? It’s almost night time?”

“Am I not the sun?” Yeojin pokes Yerim’s sides. “I’m pretty bright and cheerful too, right?”

“Yeah… no.” Yerim deadpans. “You’re like the opposite. Now, buzz off, I’m trying to cook your dinner so you can forgive me and we can leave this all behind.”

“I almost forgot about that!” Yeojin claps her hands and laughs to herself. “The food better be good or else I’m not forgiving you!”

“I thought you said you weren’t  _ that  _ mean?” Yerim bites back, referencing the time Yeojin called Yerim out because Yerim thought Yeojin was the devil’s incarnate.

“I can change my mind now—” Yeojin hits her head against the doorway. She hears Yerim burst into laughter behind her. “Stop laughing! This is making me want to hold a grudge against you even more!”

“Sorry,” Yerim chokes on her laughter. “Oh god, it was—you should have—” She struggled to complete her sentences with how much she wheezed out of laughter.

Yeojin pouts. “I’ll wait in the living room.” She hears Yerim laugh even more before she sits down on the couch.

Yeojin curls up against the couch, a throw pillow in between her stomach and her pulled up knees. She scrolls through her phone aimlessly, humming the rest of the song to herself.

Then she smells something burning. She drops her phone beside her. She walks quickly towards the kitchen.

“Yerim?”

“I’m here—” The pan in front of her was caught on fire. “I think I put too much oil in.”

“What?” Yeojin shoves Yerim away hastily, before pulling the pan out of the stove. The flames die down, thankfully. Yeojin looks at the pan and heaves a sigh. “Thank god the egg is unharmed.”

It looked like an egg, at least, but it was drenched in oil.

“Yerim… do you want me to cook dinner?”

“What? No. I can cook.”

“No you can’t…”

“But how else will you forgive me?” Yerim gives Yeojin a small pout before staring at the tiled floor beneath them. “I wanted you to feel my apology…”

Yerim’s voice was shrinking with every word she spoke. Yeojin can’t help but think she looked like a puppy.

  
So out of instinct, she reaches out and rests her hand on top of Yerim’s head. “I already forgave you, though.”

“Really?” Yerim looks up, and Yeojin’s forced to take her hand away. “You’re sure?”

“Yeah. I wouldn’t stay mad for long, you know? Also, I’m more concerned about your house’s safety rather than you ignoring me earlier.” Yeojin teases. Her tongue was poking out as she smiled cheekily. “Now you go sit and play some music or something. I’ll try to salvage your meal.”

“Okay. Thanks Yeo.”

Yeojin hums. The nickname almost flies past her head. But it didn’t.

“Y-Yeo?” She stammers just as Yerim was about to head into the living room. “Where did that come from?”

“Oh,” Yerim feels heat creep up her cheeks. “Hyejoo and Chaewon, the girls I was with earlier, well they had nicknames for each other…” Yerim looks away from Yeojin’s burning gaze. “I figured if we were gonna be friends, I could call you nicknames and such…”

“Ah.” Yeojin didn’t really know what to say.

“And I was thinking, ‘ _ ah, I wanna be close to Yeojin like how close they are to each other’, _ ” Yerim looks away for a second. “I thought a nickname would help us get closer…” She looks up to gauge Yeojin’s reaction. “Is it… no good?”

“No! No, it’s okay. I was just taken aback.” Yeojin clarifies. She tucks a strand of her hair behind her ear before awkwardly coughing into her hand. “Yeah, it’s okay. It’s fine.”

“If it makes you feel more comfortable, you can call me anything…” Yerim adds, hoping that Yeojin would take it.

Yerim has only ever received a nickname from one person, and it was her dad. Now she wants someone else to call her a nickname. She thinks that maybe it would make her feel better.

Was it such a serious thing to gloss over? Nicknames? Well, for Yerim it was. She can’t remember the last time her dad called her “Sweet little Yerimmie,” or how his voice sounded. By now, she’s associated the nickname with her father. It always leaves a bitter taste in her mouth.

“I can call you Yerimmie, then.” Yeojin leans against the kitchen counter. “Is that okay?”

Scratch that. It  _ used  _ to leave a bitter taste in Yerim’s mouth. Yeojin’s voice, however, made it sound sweeter than her father’s voice used to sound. Yerim almost tears up when she hears it. It was like she was being hit by the nostalgia train.

“I think it’s perfect…”

“That’s good. Now, Yerimmie, go sit down and wait for the food.” Yeojin gives her a fond smile. “I’ll call you when it’s done.”

“Thanks, Yeo…” Yerim grins to herself before she giggles. “I’ll use my phone to play music instead of the tapes, is that okay?”

“Yeah, I don’t mind.”

“Okay!” Yerim pumps her fists up a bit. “Cook well!”

It didn’t take long for Yeojin to figure out a solution for their dinner. She ended up taking out most of the oil and cooking an extra egg along with the egg Yerim butchered a while back. She wanted something more than eggs, but she figured it wasn’t that bad.

She sits in front of Yerim at the small dining table. Yerim happily digs in.

“You cook so well —” Yerim’s words were muffled. Her mouth was filled with the fried rice Yeojin made along with the eggs.

“Slow down. You might choke on your food.” Yeojin looks at Yerim amusedly. 

“It’s fine, it’s—” A cough leaves Yerim’s lips before she starts pounding her chest with her fist.

“Yerim!” Yeojin scolds her. Yerim waves her hand and hurriedly takes the glass of water to chug it down.

“I’m fine,” a final cough leaves her throat. “See? Fine and dandy.”

“Dumbass.”

“You’re a dumbass.” Yerim rebuts. “You hit your head earlier.”

“You choked even though I told you to slow down!” Yeojin’s lip twitches. “The audacity…”

“Sorry, sorry, let’s call it even?” Yerim grins. “Still, how did you learn to cook this well?”

“Oh? It’s just eggs, though?” Yeojin pokes her half-eaten egg with the end of her chopsticks.

“Don’t underestimate eggs! I heard on the TV that it’s the easiest one to cook but the hardest to master.” Yerim boasts as if she was proud of the fact. Her chest was puffed and her lips held a cheeky grin.

“Yes, yes, I won’t underestimate eggs again.” Yeojin replies.

A comfortable silence envelopes the air between them. Yeojin finishes up eating her meal. “Yeo, I’ll clean up today since you’ve been cleaning a lot whenever you come over.”

“Oh, okay.”

Yerim cleans the table and washes the dishes. Yeojin stays sitting on the table while she scrolls through her phone aimlessly.

Once Yerim was done, they sit together on the couch in the living room, comfortable with the silence between them.

“Aren’t you going home yet?” Yerim whispers. They were watching some soapy drama playing on the television. Yeojin’s eyebrows were furrowed as she paid attention to the situation that was unfolding before her.

“Later,” Yeojin’s voice sounded so far away. It was obvious that she was preoccupied. Yerim takes the remote control from the coffee table and turns the TV off. “Hey!”

“Yeo, it’s almost 9 in the evening.” Yerim scolds. “Aren’t your parents worried about you?”

“They’ll be away the entire weekend anyways,” Yeojin pouts. “Please, please, please! Turn it back on, it was getting to the good part!”

Yerim rolls her eyes before turning it back on. “Did you tell your parents at least that you’re here?”

“Nah, your house is so close that I could just jog back home anyways. They probably won’t answer my calls too, they’re busy people.”

“Still, that’s not a good thing to do…” Yerim mumbles. “I mean, I’d probably do the same thing if I were over your house.” She clicks her tongue. “Leave them a text at least.”

“Okay.” Yeojin nods. “Now please turn the TV on?”

“Fine. Take it.” Yerim shoves the remote control to Yeojin. “Enjoy your weird, overly dramatic show.” Yerim glances up at the screen to see a woman slap a man with a handful of Kimchi. “Who does that anyways?”

“Shh, be quiet!” Yeojin swats Yerim away. “Also, Yerim, can I sleepover tonight?”

“Ask your parents.”

“I already did.” Yeojin’s voice was far away again, her eyes glued to the screen in front of them. “I’m waiting for a reply.”

Just as she says that, her phone buzzes. Yerim saw a glance of what looked like a “yes”.

Yerim sighs. “Go get your clothes. How long will you stay?”

“This entire weekend.” Yeojin absentmindedly answers. She gasps a bit before giggling.

_ Is the show really that interesting?  _ Yerim thinks in distaste.  _ Hey, look at me, will you? _

Then Yerim feels her stomach twist in a weird way. She feels a huge lump rise up her throat that won’t go away no matter how many times she gulps it down. She feels an odd heat around her neck and she feels her heart pound in her chest.

She hears her own heartbeat.

Yerim wonders to herself what it all meant.

But she shoves it away.

Instead, she steadies her awkward breathing. She was still keeping her eyes trained on the pensive girl before her. She shakes her head before smiling to herself.

_ I can’t believe it’s the first time someone’s sleeping over and they’re so busy with my TV.  _ Yerim leans her head against Yeojin’s shoulder.  _ But, this isn't that bad, I guess. _

“Go to your room if you’re tired, my shoulder will go stiff” Yeojin’s voice came running through Yerim’s thoughts that the entire moment felt like a record scratching against the pin.

“Stay still.” Yerim replies with a cold voice. “If you’re not gonna talk to me, might as well let me do this.”

“Ah, okay. I’ll talk to you  _ all  _ you want if you let me finish this.” Yeojin shrugs her blazer off and places it over their shoulders. “You’re like a child, so needy.”

“Shut up and watch your stupid drama.”

“Yes, yes.”

Yerim didn’t know what it all meant. She didn’t know if the things she normally does with Yeojin was normal to everyone else. To her, it was all blurry.

But one thing was for certain.

She liked having Yeojin around.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for everyone who leaved a kudos and a comment so far! It's those things that encourage me to write more! Also, I wanna see Gowon with black hair again...


End file.
